It's important to talk to the other partner about the emotional invalidation. Talk with them about what you feel when you are feeling invalidated. Your feelings and emotions matter. There are many well-intentioned invalidators out there, but that doesn't change the reality of the situation.
Emotional invalidation is the act of dismissing or rejecting someone's thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. It says to someone: “Your feelings don't matter. Your feelings are wrong.” Emotional invalidation can make you feel unimportant or irrational. It can take many forms and happen at any time.
For some people, shutting down emotionally is a response to feeling overstimulated. It doesn't have anything to do with you or how they feel about you. If your husband or partner shuts down when you cry, for example, it may be because they don't know the best way to handle that display of emotions.
Gaslighting goes further than invalidating other people's feelings, which makes it more damaging than we think. Invalidating means telling someone they shouldn't feel a certain way. Gaslighting, on the other hand, makes someone believe that they do not actually feel that way.
The fact that your partner isn't validating your emotions or connecting with you in the way you want doesn't mean they're “doing things wrong” or are “bad at relationships.” It simply means you're looking to connect in ways different from what they may be used to.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
It's important to talk to the other partner about the emotional invalidation. Talk with them about what you feel when you are feeling invalidated. Your feelings and emotions matter. There are many well-intentioned invalidators out there, but that doesn't change the reality of the situation.
Other times, emotional invalidation is a form of manipulation and an attempt to make you question your feelings and experiences. A pattern of invalidation is a form of emotional abuse or gaslighting.
Emotional invalidation is when someone's feelings are denied, rejected, or dismissed. Invalidation makes someone feel as though their emotional experience is wrong. They may feel that their emotions are unacceptable, insignificant, or inaccurate. This can lead to considerable confusion and self-doubt.
Invalidation often leads to emotional distancing, conflict, and disruption in relationships, as well as feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, confusion, and inferiority in the affected individual.
If a guy truly starts to ignore you, it's usually either because he is upset with you and needs you to give him space, he is losing interest, he feels like the relationship is moving too fast, he is playing games with you or trying to lead you on.
He May Be Feeling Hurt
Partners sometimes distance themselves verbally and emotionally when they are experiencing hurt. If your boyfriend ignores you, he may feel resentful and angry and doesn't want to talk to you under those terms. Or he may be hurt and unsure how to put his thoughts and feelings into words.
It can be a hand gesture to brush you away, or someone turning their back to you. Heavy sighing, distracted self-grooming and looking at a watch are other dismissive gestures. Whatever the dismissive behavior it can cause misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or conflict.
To start with, many emotions go on when a man hurts you. Anger, frustration, disappointment, and resentment are a few of what a man feels when his woman is broken. The specific feeling a man has will depend on what caused the disagreement or fight in the first place.
Reflect the Feeling. “I can see you're really upset.” “This must be so painful.” Summarize the experience. “I totally understand that you're upset because I wasn't on time which was rude and irresponsible.” “This must be so painful, it's devastating to experience such a loss.”
Gaslighting
One of the most common strategies that narcissists use to invalidate you is gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where an individual tries to manipulate you into questioning your perception of reality and recollection of events and experiences.
Inability to Compromise and Emotional Invalidation
The inability to compromise and emotional invalidation are red flags because they are a form of gaslighting. The abuser removes your power to counter them by insisting that you are always wrong, overreacting, or lying.
This at the heart of what narcissism is all about. To the narcissist, they are more important than everyone else. And emotional invalidation is meant to be used as a tool to gain control of you. That way you are subservient to the narcissist.
Invalidation is a form of relational trauma which, over time, harms the brain and nervous system, and also results in the disintegration of any healthy bonds of connection, and dissolution of trust in others. Healing requires the slow, ongoing work of diligent growth in character, self-awareness, and love.
When a woman feels neglected in a relationship, she is likely to feel as if she isn't important. This can lead to her also feeling sad, depressed, or hopeless. She may also begin to feel lonely as if she has no one to turn to because her partner is emotionally unavailable.
Dismissive: Being ignored; dismissing behaviors or accomplishments as insignificant. This often leads to dismissing or denying individual feelings and needs. There is a deep feeling of longing for love and attention, yet these individuals begin to believe they are unworthy of attention.
They turn the story around to make it seem like you are at fault, deflecting attention and blame away from them to make you feel guilty. This type of emotional manipulation is called gaslighting. [clickToTweet tweet=”“Am I going crazy? Am I being too sensitive?