Experts say it's possible for couples to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they're willing to put in the work. “The couple can survive and grow after an affair,” says Coleman.
Confessing is crucial if you're invested in someone other than your partner, she adds. That's because your affair could be a sign that some elements—say, sexual intimacy or other kinds of closeness—are missing from your current relationship, and you'll need to address them if you want your union to survive.
What a reader says: "Yes, you should always tell your partner, but not for your own peace of mind. Instead you should do it because the person you cheated on has the right to decide whether or not they should continue the relationship.
There is no set time for affair recovery.
However, there can be a period of healing. During this time, you and your spouse will take specific steps towards healing. Even better, this period is not even that long. Most of it can take anywhere between 8-10 weeks.
Relationships can heal from infidelity. The process is not without its challenges, but it is possible. A couple typically does best when they are determined to work through the pain to get to the healing on the other side.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
For some, cheating is a way to explore repressed parts of the self. These cheaters don't actually want to change the core of who they are; they just want to escape the constraints of that for a little while. They're not looking for another person; they're looking for hidden versions of themselves. Insecurity.
Close to 25% of marriages stay together after an instance of cheating. And more men than women stay married when they are the cheating partner (61% vs 44%).
They start feeling guilt, shame, anger, and resentment, all at the same time, and it reflects in their behavior after getting caught cheating. Depression and remorse after cheating is very real, and that's what we see in this stage.
DON'T jump into long-term decisions. Making life-changing decisions (like impulsively deciding to end your relationship and move across the country) when you are at the height of anger and pain is not a good idea.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
Guilt. It is normal to feel guilty about what you've done after cheating on someone. Guilt is a sign that you understand that what you did was wrong and that you have hurt your partner. Guilt can be a difficult emotion to feel, but it can encourage you to find a way to make things right.
What are the long-term effects of being cheated on? If you've been cheated on, it may take a long time to heal. It can cause you chronic anxiety, post-traumatic stress, depression, and mistrust of others for a long time after the event.
It is estimated that if someone cheated before, there is a 350 percent chance that they will cheat again, compared to those who have never cheated. In the same study that states that cheaters will cheat again, they found that those who have been cheated on will most likely be cheated on again.
Forgiving is a Step Toward Trusting Again
To rebuild a relationship after infidelity or have success with future relationships, people need to trust each other. Cheating shatters trust and the ability to trust, and forgiveness is one step you need to rebuild it.
Disclosing your affair might not make your partner feel better. If you want to tell your partner about a one-time act of infidelity to make them feel better, that gesture could be misplaced. According to Nelson, someone who feels guilty for cheating is usually better off keeping the affair under wraps.
Statistics show that only 31% of marriages last after the affair has been discovered or admitted to. People who are unfaithful to their partners regret causing their loved one so much pain and heartache. Even if the couple decides to stay together, it's very hard for them to have a trust-based, happy relationship.
The participants admitted to cheating in their relationship and answered the question at the root of the mystery: Why did you do it? An analysis revealed eight key reasons: anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance.
Be honest, use full disclosure about the affair, and find a way to atone or express remorse. Deal with the traumatic feelings after the discovery and be willing to ask and answer questions. Must end the affair. Be willing to apologize for cheating in a sincere way and promise not to repeat it.
Micro-cheating involves participating in inappropriate intimate connections with others outside your relationship.
Research shows that 30-60% of married people cheat on their partners and that an average affair in these situations often lasts for around two years. These statistics are shocking.