In a eulogy, do not say anything about the person's cause of death, grudges and old grievances, arguments, character flaws, family rifts, or negative memories. Instead, share good memories and leave it out when in doubt.
If you're unsure how to end your eulogy, finish with a simple goodbye, or a thank you for the memories you shared. You might choose to use traditional phrases like 'rest in peace' or 'sleep well'. Or you can use something less formal, like a greeting or joke you used to share with the person who has died.
Yes, you should read it over several times aloud, but you're going to be reading it. The practice of reading the eulogy aloud is so that you don't stumble on the words and so that you place pauses and emphasis where they belong.
Remember to introduce yourself in your speech and who you are in relation to the loved one who has passed. This will help give the audience context and better understand the memories that you are sharing.
Your emotions are a normal, healthy part of your grief. People will understand. I also hope that when the time comes, you're confident to deliver your eulogy without crying. But also remember that it's perfectly okay if you do cry.
A good eulogy highlights the lasting impact of the person on their family and community. Through your speech, you'll have an opportunity to share their unique qualities, as well as the ripple effect of positivity and change they created in the world around them.
We find that most eulogies are between five and ten minutes in duration. If you are sharing the eulogy with others aim for around three minutes each. Adjust the content of your remembrance speech to ensure it is not too brief, or too lengthy.
What do they want to hear? Most people want to hear good things about a person who has died, and forget the bad things. But people don't become saints just because they die. Your audience will want to feel you have captured the essence of the person – what makes them special.
The tone of a eulogy should be the speaker's habitual tone. Indeed, it's neither appropriate nor enjoyable for anyone to listen to a formal and impersonal speech that, moreover, doesn't fulfill its primary objective: to pay tribute to the deceased.
A eulogy is essentially a way of saying farewell to a person who has passed away by expressing and sharing thoughts, feelings and experiences that honour and respect the deceased. They can be written in many different ways depending on the person and the circumstances.
It's polite to thank the guests for coming, especially those who have traveled a long distance. Mention the family members of the deceased specifically in your eulogy. You can mention them in a story, or you can thank them specifically. This will be important to them.
You could even ask a few people to write separate eulogies - maybe a friend, a colleague, or people who knew that person in different parts of their life. Another way to help people feel included is to mention or thank them in your eulogy.
"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
The eulogy itself is typically given by a close family member, friend or a minister. There's no reason why two people cannot deliver the eulogy, or in some cases, it may be more appropriate to open the eulogies to all attendees.
This means no jeans, shorts, or tank tops. Instead, opt for dark, conservative clothing. Women should avoid wearing anything too revealing or flashy, and men should make sure their clothing is clean and wrinkle-free.
It is not written anywhere that you have to speak at your loved one's funeral. There are no rules requiring such a moment. If you feel compelled to greet and thank all those gathered or share your thoughts about your loved one, write your thoughts and have someone else read your words during the service.