What is the most hurtful thing a parent can say to a child?
“You never do anything right.” “I do everything for you, what else do you want from me.” “It's your fault your dad/mom left me!” “When I die, don't come to visit me in my grave.”
Hurting words slash at a child's self-confidence: "You're stupid." "What a slob!" "You're disgusting." "You're worthless." Helping words show you care and make a child feel worthwhile and secure: "You can do it." "Great job." "You're beautiful." "I'm proud of you."
The most common toxic behavior of parents is to criticize their child, express self-wishes, complain about the difficulties of raising a child, make unhealthy comparisons, and make hurtful statements1. What is this?
Uninvolved parenting is the worst style of parenting among the four types because children raised with this parenting style tend to fare the worse. Neglectful parenting can affect a child's well being and outcomes in development severely5.
Shaming may make children feel bad about themselves. When the people you love the most, and whose opinion matters most, say bad things about you, it can be more than hurtful — it can affect your self-esteem in ways that can become ingrained and permanent.
Physical abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse are the most serious and damaging behavior traits that most of us equate with bad parenting. These are things that should be immediately addressed with professional help.
Toxic parents create a negative and toxic home environment. They use fear, guilt, and humiliation as tools to get what they want and ensure compliance from their children. They are often neglectful, emotionally unavailable, and abusive in some cases. They put their own needs before the needs of their children.
While emotional neglect can be an intentional disregard for a child's feelings, it can also be failure to act or notice a child's emotional needs. Parents who emotionally neglect their children may still provide care and necessities. They just miss out on or mishandle this one key area of support.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
The damage from a toxic mother can also lead to lifelong struggles with self-image, communication with others, mental illness like depression and anxiety, addiction problems, eating disorders, relationship issues, and more.
One common way toxic mothers overstep boundaries with their daughters is by micromanaging their lives. If your mother continues to dictate your appearance, career, or romantic choices, or even meddles in your life long after you've reached adulthood, that is a sign of toxicity.
humiliating or constantly criticising a child. threatening, shouting at a child or calling them names. making the child the subject of jokes, or using sarcasm to hurt a child. blaming and scapegoating.
Whether to comfort or to discipline, telling your child to stop crying isn't the way to go. Holding back tears restricts her emotions. She misses out on learning opportunities to manage her feelings. And it's ineffective—rarely does a child stop crying when told to.
