Results. Most repartnering after widowhood occurs within ten years of this event or not at all. Ten years after widowhood, about 7% of widows and 29% of widowers have formed a new union. For both widows and widowers, the rate of remarriage is twice as high as the rate of cohabitation.
According to a study by the Pew Research Center, 61% of widows and widowers eventually choose to remarry. The study also revealed that men are more likely to remarry than women.
Remarriage probabilities decrease faster for widows than widowers. Less than one-fourth of men widowed after age 65 ever remarry. Less than 5% of women widowed after age 55 ever remarry.
Not all widows look for new relationships, but many do, even as they tote chest-tearing grief. For them, love is just too joyous of a human experience to give up. “I feel horrible that my husband died. I feel horrible that my children lost their dad,” a young widow said.
There is no "right or wrong" about when you'll be ready. Many people are ready months after the death of their partner, and for others, it takes years. The most important thing is that you have this conversation with yourself, and aren't trying to satisfy someone else's idea of when you're ready (or not).
One major warning sign is if the widower is still grieving intensely or not ready to move on from their previous relationship. Another red flag is if they constantly compare you to their late spouse or refuse to let go of their belongings.
About 2% of widows and 20% of widowers get remarried (Smith, Zick, & Duncan, 1991).
Older widows are usually more content to stay single than older widowers. They are often tired from looking after their late spouse and they see remarriage as having to take care of somebody else. Devotion to a deceased husband may also keep them single but they still go through various levels of loneliness.
It's true that some widowed people do move on too fast, because they're in denial and don't want to face pain; such relationships often bear a cost. Still, even for those not in denial, finding a connection remains a huge human urge.
The feel of Loneliness
Losing someone creates a gap of them in our lives. Similarly losing her spouse puts the widow into a position of loneliness. Even if the widow is always surrounded by the most loving and supportive people (friends & family) there'd still be times when she'd go through a mental state of isolation.
The reality is, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average age of a widow or widower in the U.S. is currently 59-years-old.
Here is what older men want when dating older women:
Smile – Smiling makes people more approachable. Make Him Feel Like a Man – He's not your best girlfriend in pants. Don't Play Games – No one has time for drama. Don't Be Too Serious – A good sense of humor is sexy.
Until the intensity of your grief subsides, you can't expect to be truly happy again. Work through your guilt, extreme pain, extreme sadness, intense anger, and every other feeling and emotion. Often, reaching out to a grief counselor gives you a structure for doing this work.
Finding love again after the death of an intimate partner can be a joyous experience for those who are ready. However, this type of life transition can raise issues around trust, intimacy, and communication. It can also present unique challenges for those with children or when considering blending families.
Approximately 2% of older widows and 20% of older widowers ever remarry (Smith, Zick, & Duncan, 1991).
One of the factors that drives remarriage for many widowed is the potential for loneliness. A widowed or bereavement ministry in the parish can provide an outlet to work through grief and learn how to deal with companionship and loneliness.
Often the second year is the hardest as that's when the real grief work might begin. This is the time when you may be ready to face your grief head on and deal with any issues that are holding you back. If you're not ready yet though, don't feel guilty. There is no deadline and everyone grieves in their own time.
One of the first steps in combating loneliness is being around others who share some of the same interests as you. Try your best to pull yourself out of your grief enough to volunteer a weekend or two each month at a local charity or food bank to help those in need.
Dating a widow or widower may take patience, a willingness to embrace the spouse who has died, and a commitment to step gingerly when it comes to introductions to friends and family. And it's not right for everyone. The result, though, can be a positive, successful bond.
Conclusions: Widowed people have a high prevalence of depression and anxiety disorders. The high prevalence of depression was independent of age and sex.
The standard grieving period can last anywhere from six to twelve months for it to cycle through. This applies to most cases of ordinary grief, with no additional complications coming into play.
35 to 44 years – 57% will remarry. 45 to 54 years – 63% will remarry. 55 to 64 years – 67% will remarry. 65 years and older – 50% will remarry.
There is no rule that says you cannot wear your wedding ring after your spouse is deceased. If you feel more comfortable wearing it, then wear it. However, you may want to consider taking it off to fully move on with life. Your ring may serve as a reminder of your husband and your relationship.
It is common for widows to wear their wedding ring on their right ring finger rather than their left ring finger. This is a way to symbolize moving forward while still keeping the memory of your marriage close.