What not to say at a funeral?

Here are seven things to avoid saying at a funeral or to someone grieving the loss of a loved one.
  • “They're an angel now.”
  • “I know how you feel.”
  • “They look so good.”
  • “Don't cry” or “Go ahead and cry.”
  • “At least it wasn't worse.”
  • “God is sovereign.”
  • “Let me know if I can help.”
  • What can you say instead?

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What is the most disrespectful thing to do at a funeral?

"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.

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What is the most comforting thing to say at a funeral?

“I'm so sorry about your loss. [The deceased] was a good person and they'll be very missed.” “Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.” “[The deceased] was a wonderful person and I'll miss them very much.”

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What not to say or do at a funeral?

The worst things to say at a funeral

Don't tell friends or family members who are grieving that their loved one has gone to a better place. Never call the death a blessing or speculate that it was that person's time. Avoid saying anything that suggests that the loss of the loved one is a positive thing.

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What is the right thing to say at a funeral?

Here are some examples of what to say at a funeral:

I'm sorry for your loss. He will be missed by everyone that knew him. She was a lovely woman and will be greatly missed. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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What NOT to say at a FUNERAL

30 related questions found

What is the most common thing said at a funeral?

Offering Condolences: What to Say at a Funeral
  • “I am so sorry for your loss”
  • “You and your loved one are in my thoughts and prayers”
  • “This is so sad to hear, I'm thinking of you and the family”
  • “If you want to talk at any time, I'm here”
  • “Shocked and saddened by this news if you need anything I'm here”

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What to say at a funeral when you don't know what to say?

When attending a visitation, here are examples of what you can say to the family:
  • My condolences.
  • I'm really sorry you're going through this.
  • Your mom was a wonderful woman.
  • You loved him/her well.
  • I'm thinking of your family during this difficult time.

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Is it rude to not cry at a funeral?

Instead, we want to reassure those who aren't crying that it's okay. Crying isn't a required step in grieving a loss; it is not a measure of how much you love the person who died, and you can still grieve healthily even if the tears don't flow.

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What can I take to stop me crying at a funeral?

Bring tissues or a handkerchief

Crying isn't always pretty. It's entirely okay, and you shouldn't feel worried about what you look like when you're feeling a strong emotion. However, bringing tissues or a handkerchief helps you feel more in control of your appearance when you're struggling with tears.

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How do you show respect at a funeral?

It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket. The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion.

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How do you talk to a funeral without crying?

How do you talk at a funeral without crying?
  1. Give Yourself Time to Practice.
  2. Find a Supportive Person Ahead.
  3. Eat Before Giving the Speech.
  4. Remember to Take Deep Breaths.
  5. Keep Your Eyes on the Prize.

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Who should speak at a funeral?

The speech is ideally given by someone who knew the person well enough to gather and share memories and highlights of his/her life. Sometimes the choice is obvious within the family. There is often one person who seems to be the unofficial family spokesperson.

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How do you stay strong and not cry at a funeral?

How to Avoid Crying at a Funeral
  1. BREATHE. Controlling breath is the first step to reducing anxiety during a panic attack, and it stands to reason that calming yourself will also be beneficial when feeling extreme sorrow. ...
  2. DISTRACT YOURSELF. ...
  3. GET PHYSICAL. ...
  4. BLINK. ...
  5. DRINK WATER.

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What is considered rude at a funeral?

Anything generally negative about the deceased person or their family. A funeral or memorial is not the time to share negative opinions about the deceased person or their family. Alternative: Have a private conversation with a trusted loved one after the funeral to express your feelings if you must.

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Is it rude to smile at a funeral?

It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.

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What's the hardest part of a funeral?

Usually people say a short prayer by the casket and then proceed to share their condolences with the family. Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family.

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How do you relax at a funeral?

Be kind to yourself. Techniques such as mindfulness may help you regulate your breathing or feel more restful, while a hot bath or aromatherapy oils such as lavender or chamomile may be a soothing way to prepare for a funeral you're anxious about and part of your coping strategy.

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How do you talk at a funeral?

Tips for Delivering a Eulogy
  1. Write it Down Word for Word. It's perfectly acceptable to write down your eulogy speech word for word. ...
  2. Keep it Short and Sweet. Try to keep your speech between 5 to 7 minutes, 10 minutes at the most. ...
  3. Practice, Practice, Practice. ...
  4. Speak slowly and make eye contact. ...
  5. Remember to Breathe.

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How do you handle stress at a funeral?

7 Tips To Eliminate Stress When Planning A Funeral
  1. Take a Moment. Now is not the time to be a super-planning superhero. ...
  2. Talk About It. Keeping emotions bottled up inside creates stress. ...
  3. Keep Living. Don't give up your class or hobby if it brings you joy. ...
  4. Move. ...
  5. Stay Organized. ...
  6. Don't Fly Solo. ...
  7. Remember “Why”

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What happens minutes before death?

They might close their eyes frequently or they might be half-open. Facial muscles may relax and the jaw can drop. Skin can become very pale. Breathing can alternate between loud rasping breaths and quiet breathing.

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Is it rude to take pictures at a funeral?

Is It Appropriate to Take Photos at a Funeral? Unless explicitly requested by the deceased's family, it is best to avoid taking photographs at a funeral or memorial ceremony. Taking candid photos of the relatives in their most vulnerable moments of grief might cause stress and destroy the mood during the service.

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Is it selfish not to go to a funeral?

Funerals are a way for friends and family to say their goodbyes, reminisce, or grieve, and ultimately find closure. Choosing whether to attend is at the discretion of each individual, family member. Whatever you choose, know that it isn't disrespectful to not go to a funeral for personal reasons.

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How do you send regrets to a funeral?

Send a note. Preferably a handwritten one, but a text might do just fine when the situation doesn't allow it. You want to convey your regrets about not making it to the event. You can enclose the message in a sympathy card.

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What is usually read at a funeral?

Some traditional prayers, psalms and religious readings include, Psalms 23; Romans 8:14-23; The Lord's Prayer; The Serenity Prayer; and I Corinthians 15:51-57. For more inspiration, take a look at this list of funeral prayers and scriptural verses.

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How do you tell someone you won't be able to make it to a funeral?

What to Text Someone When You Can't Attend a Funeral
  1. Thinking of you today! I'm sorry I can't be there with you. ...
  2. I'm sending a virtual hug to you. I know that today is going to be hard. ...
  3. Please know that I would be there with you today if circumstances were different.

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