What not to do when someone has BPD?

Don't point out how you feel that they're wrong, try to win the argument, or invalidate their feelings, even when what they're saying is totally irrational. Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on helpguide.org

What should you never say to someone with BPD?

What Not to Say to Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder
  • “You seemed fine earlier.”
  • 2. “ Stop trying to make me feel guilty” / “It's not a big deal” / “You're overreacting”
  • 3.“ Don't be upset” / “Don't be so sensitive” / “Don't worry about it”

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on themighty.com

What aggravates borderline personality disorder?

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on mcleanhospital.org

What are some coping skills for BPD?

You could:
  • Wrap up in a blanket and watch your favourite TV show.
  • Write all your negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear it up.
  • Listen to music that you find uplifting or soothing.
  • Write a comforting letter to the part of yourself that is feeling sad or alone.
  • Let yourself cry or sleep.
  • Cuddle a pet or a soft toy.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on mind.org.uk

How do you calm down a BPD person?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on mind.org.uk

10 Ways to Say NO to Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

15 related questions found

What does a BPD meltdown look like?

For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on themighty.com

Do people with BPD like to argue?

People with BPD may feel a great deal of anger and may make heavy insults in a fit of rage to loved ones. Although it is unfair to listen and get hurt, arguing suggests that you believe the other person's anger is uncalled-for and this will lead to greater rage.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on borderlineintheact.org.au

What is a BPD episode like?

When a person has BPD, they often experience periods of intense feelings of anger, anxiety, or depression that can last for a few hours or a few days. The mood swings experienced by people with BPD can lead to issues with impulsive behavior and can contribute to relationship problems.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on verywellhealth.com

What is the victim mentality of BPD?

The Victim

Someone with BPD may struggle to take an active role even in simple tasks or enjoyable activities without the assistance of another. In this instance, the person with BPD will seek out a persecutor or rescuer to validate their experience of victimization.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on heatherhayes.com

What are BPD mood swings like?

Intense and highly variable moods, with episodes lasting from a few hours to a few days. Chronic feelings of emptiness. Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger. Feelings of dissociation, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside one's body, or feelings of unreality.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on nimh.nih.gov

What do BPD fear most?

With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on mayoclinic.org

What is the rage cycle of a BPD person?

A BPD relationship cycle often consists of some emotional highs and lows that may leave you confused and frustrated. You might also see your partner experience unexpected bouts of anger, anxiety, or depression. They may love you and then suddenly reject you or get upset.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychcentral.com

Do people with BPD try to hurt you?

When a BPD person is splitting, they may distort how they see things. One moment they feel good and the next they feel low. One moment they feel loved and the next they feel unwanted or abandoned. Borderline Personality Disorder splitting can destroy your relationship by inflicting pain on the partner.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on mentalhealthcenter.com

What's the worst thing you can do to someone with BPD?

Don't point out how you feel that they're wrong, try to win the argument, or invalidate their feelings, even when what they're saying is totally irrational. Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on helpguide.org

What is the favorite person problem in BPD?

Favorite person in the borderline personality disorder community. FP has a unique meaning in the BPD community. A FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

How do you argue with someone with BPD?

How to survive an argument with someone with BPD
  1. Genuinely try to listen. ...
  2. Validate their feelings, not their behaviours. ...
  3. See their inner child. ...
  4. Setting kind but firm boundaries. ...
  5. Honour yourself. ...
  6. Be specific. ...
  7. Be open. ...
  8. Suggest alternatives.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on counselling-directory.org.uk

Are people with BPD abusive?

Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on mentalhealthcenter.com

How does someone with BPD act?

People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on nimh.nih.gov

How does BPD respond to trauma?

BPD and complex PTSD share a number of features, such as difficulty regulating emotions and an altered sense of self. A key difference, however, is that complex PTSD explicitly frames an individual's condition as a response to trauma, whereas BPD does not. Many people fit the criteria for both disorders.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on scientificamerican.com

What is the hardest mental illness to live with?

Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPDs) become overwhelmed and incapacitated by the intensity of their emotions, whether it is joy and elation or depression, anxiety, and rage. They are unable to manage these intense emotions.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychcentral.com

Do BPD know they are sick?

Many people who live with borderline personality disorder don't know they have it and may not realize there's a healthier way to behave and relate to others.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on my.clevelandclinic.org

What is the most painful mental illness to live with?

Borderline personality disorder is one of the most painful mental illnesses since individuals struggling with this disorder are constantly trying to cope with volatile and overwhelming emotions.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on clearviewwomenscenter.com

Do people with BPD get offended easily?

These are people who do not have a clear sense of who they are, what they look like, and how they are seen by others. Moods are stormy, shifting, unstable as the person becomes easily offended and either angry or rageful even though others may think there is not reason for it.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on mentalhelp.net

Do people with BPD create drama?

In some cases, the force behind the drama may be borderline personality disorder (BPD). It's a serious mental health condition characterized by emotional instability and a disturbed sense of self and that has at its foundation a deep-seated fear of abandonment.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on borderline-personality-disorder.com

Do people with BPD punish you?

Punishment and revenge are central to the manifestation of what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is and means when it comes to relationships. The struggle of those with BPD relationally, is rooted in a proverbial no-win situation.

Takedown request   |   View complete answer on mentalhealthcenter.com