Willard Harvey, in his book His Needs/Her Needs, states the five top needs of men in marriage. Those five needs are admiration, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship, sexual fulfillment and domestic support. The need that is often most neglected and that I want to focus on here is the need for admiration.
Apart from being dissatisfied in his marriage, physical attraction may be one of the reasons a married man feels gravitated towards another woman. A man may also feel attracted towards another woman if she possesses qualities that his spouse does not. This could mean having a flourishing career, or common interests.
Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior. You may notice subtle changes in their behavior that make you wonder if your spouse is displaying cheating husband guilt.
Becoming aware of your husband's infidelity is a painful experience, but it doesn't necessarily mean the end of your relationship. A man can cheat and still wholeheartedly love his wife. Infidelity can happen even in happy marriages, and it's important to understand that it's not your fault.
Look up the length of affairs on Google and apart from one-or-two-night stands, the consensus is that most run their course in six months to two years.
About 14% of couples under the age of 55 reported adultery in their marriage. Most people who cheat have been married for 20 to 30 years and are between the age of 50 and 60.
Research from the past two decades shows that between 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 15 percent of married women cheat, according to professor Nicholas Wolfinger. Read more here.
As a therapist, it's comforting to know that so many men do feel badly about infidelity, and that they want to make things right if they can. Their regret doesn't make their actions OK, of course, but it does provide hope for the long-term success of their relationships.
In some cases, it stems from unmet needs in a relationship. Issues like lack of communication, boredom, and personal insecurities can fester when they're not fully addressed. If one partner feels like they're never listened to or respected in their primary relationship, they may look for that in another person.
Cheating rarely ends well. Only 5% to 7% of affairs result in a marriage—and roughly 75% of the unions that started as affairs end as divorces.
For the betrayed spouse, stages of an affair being exposed can involve everything from denial, shock, reflection, depression to finally taking an upward turn.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
An icy attitude is a telltale sign of a cheating wife. She won't want to connect on any level and doesn't smile anymore when around you. A cheating wife avoids talking to you, touching you, or even being in the same room as you. Ask her out for coffee and see where the conversation goes.
The Reasons Behind Pursuing Other Women
Not Getting Your Needs Met in Your Relationship Often, men seek out the affections of other women when they're not getting their needs met at home. They aren't feeling appreciated, or validated, by their wife or girlfriend.
An affair can become long-lasting love when both parties are in love and are ready to do right by each other. This often happens when the person being cheated with seems to outperform the present partner. You might get confused if you are really in love or not.
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
An affair is generally a sign things aren't right with someone's relationship. Without the necessary skills to heal the issues, a partner may engage in an affair as an ill-equipped way of attempting to have their needs fulfilled – whether these be for intimacy, to feel valued, to experience more sex, and so on.
Affairs usually end in one of three ways: divorce and remarriage, divorce and relationship loss, or the recommitment to the relationship that was betrayed. Each of these resolutions to an affair has its own pros and cons.
Look for these telltale signs to determine true remorse: Not only do they apologize, and often, but they also openly express what they're apologizing for. They don't make vague statements or blanket apologies. They show their remorse by doing things that they feel will lessen your pain.
Of the 254 divorced women surveyed, only 27% said they regretted their divorce. However, as for men, 39% of the 206 ex-husbands report they regret leaving their wives.
Infidelity can have lasting impacts on partners and children the couple may have. Grief, brain changes, behaviors down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression can result. Some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and therapy.
1. How are most affairs discovered? The phone! While there are text message codes that cheating spouses use to avoid getting caught, there is no denying that mobile phones are a danger zone for adulterers.
Once a week is a common baseline, experts say. That statistic depends slightly on age: 40- and 50-year-olds tend to fall around that baseline, while 20- to 30-year olds tend to average around twice a week.