A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don't present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way.
Many people who behave in a toxic manner have been through trauma themselves, and instead of dealing with that trauma, these people start exhibiting toxic traits. These people usually don't know how to process trauma and stress in a healthy manner, so they end up being unpleasant around people.
To change, they have to take responsibility for how they show up to relationships and how much they expect from others." At their very base, like all people, toxic people want to be loved and supported. Change takes hard work, patience, and support from a variety of people.
It may be chemical, physical, or biological in form. Toxic agents may be: chemical (such as cyanide), physical (such as radiation) and biological (such as snake venom).
The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Relationship expert Dr John Gottman termed these "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" as they spell disaster for any personal or professional relationship.
You tend to manipulate things
Manipulation ranges from gaslighting and lying to hiding information from your partner. If you're doing any of these things, you're clearly manipulating your partner and are the toxic one in the relationship. Ultimately, it will only erode your partner's love and respect for you.
Toxic relationships generally follow three stages: idealizing, devaluing, and discarding. Learn about each of these stages and the impact it has on you.
Consistently blaming others for your own problems is also a sign that you're a toxic person. As Raichbach points out, the inability to take responsibility for your own actions typically means that you push the negativity onto the people around you.
Accept Responsibility For Your Actions & Be Accountable
After recognizing and acknowledging your toxic behavior, you need to accept and take responsibility for your actions. As humans, we're prone to making to excuses. We want to explain why we did something, especially when we've done something wrong.
In some cases, toxic behavior may stem from underlying psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder. People with these conditions may engage in toxic behavior as a way to cope with their own emotional struggles.
Their behavior is typically unpleasant or malicious toward others. These behaviors may manifest from underlying feelings of low self-esteem and mental health conditions such as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), childhood trauma, or other deeply rooted personal issues.
Teach them that you won't be a part of the pity party by being unemotional, inattentive, and indifferent to the crisis. Don't ask questions and don't offer help. It might feel bad because it's not your normal way, but remember that you're not dealing with a normal person.
Toxic people are controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. A narcissist will use gaslighting to make you feel confused and insecure. They will use every opportunity to shame you and isolate you from other people.
Anger, frustration, fear, guilt, bitterness, resentment, and sadness negatively impact you. Toxic emotions cause you mental and physical harm. Anger leads you to do or say things you'll regret later. Frustration causes you to consider giving up.
Fundamentally, toxic relationship behaviors are the result of a lack of empathy. Whether that be demanding your partner live up to your expectations, or refusing to see things from their perspective, toxic behavior often represents an inability to feel genuine understanding and compassion for the other person.
If a relationship stops bringing joy, and instead consistently makes you feel sad, angry, anxious or “resigned, like you've sold out,” it may be toxic, Glass says. You may also find yourself envious of happy couples. Fuller says negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem are all red flags, too.
Overthinking is linked to psychological problems, like depression and anxiety. It's likely that overthinking causes mental health to decline and as your mental health declines, the more likely you are to overthink. It's a vicious downward spiral.
Toxic people are often pessimistic, and their attitude can be contagious. If you spend too much time around them, you may start to doubt yourself and question your ability to achieve your goals. Additionally, toxic people can be manipulative and Machiavellian.
The term 'toxic emotions' is regularly used, but what are they exactly? They are feelings of anger, guilt, shame, anxiety, fear, self-loathing, regret, bitterness, and resentment – feelings that bring no positive benefit to our lives or our mental wellbeing.