Our bodies also produce oxytocin when we're excited by our sexual partner, and when we fall in love. That's why it has earned the nicknames "love hormone" and "cuddle hormone."
Researchers have scanned the brains of people who are madly in love and found a heavy surge of dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain's reward system that helps people feel pleasure. Dopamine, along with other chemicals, gives us that energy, focus, and obsession we feel when we're wild about someone.
As oxytocin is associated with trust, sexual arousal and relationship building, it's sometimes referred to as the “love hormone” or “cuddle chemical.” Oxytocin levels also increase when you're hugging someone and when you're experiencing an orgasm. Oxytocin is an essential hormone for childbirth and lactation.
Testosterone and estrogen drive lust; dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin create attraction; and oxytocin and vasopressin mediate attachment.
In humans, though, the effects are much less dramatic – a subtle change in the romantic preference for the familiar over the new. So oxytocin is far from proven to be essential to love. Of course, even if we could identify such a substance, any message – chemical or otherwise – needs a recipient.
Most of the studies found higher levels of oxytocin during the orgasm or ejaculation. Given the sexual arousal evoked by self-stimulation in which sexual fantasies play an important role, it should be possible to postulate for a role of the oxytocin in sexual desire.
At the point of orgasm, the brain releases massive amounts of oxytocin and dopamine, said Brotto. Oxytocin or the "love hormone" is thought to promote feelings of connection and bonding with a partner after orgasm, and dopamine is a "feel-good" neurotransmitter connected to the reward centre of the brain, she said.
According to love biologist Dawn Maslar, the chemicals dopamine and vasopressin are vital for a man to start falling in love, whereas it's oxytocin and dopamine for women. Oxytocin, often nicknamed the love or cuddle hormone, also plays an important role in men but at a later stage.
Its best to begin with light small touches on the arms and hands, to make the oxytocin effect kick in.
Both estradiol and testosterone have been implicated as the steroid critical for modulating women's sexual desire. By contrast, in all other female mammals only estradiol has been shown to be critical for female sexual motivation and behavior.
Indeed, speech between trusted individuals is capable of reducing levels of salivary cortisol, often considered a biomarker of stress, and increasing levels of urinary oxytocin, a hormone involved in the formation and maintenance of positive relationships.
Do both men and women produce oxytocin? Yep, but women typically have higher oxytocin levels than men. (It's a key hormone involved in childbirth and lactation, after all). Biological differences aside, men and women appear to experience oxytocin in many of the same ways.
Phenylethylamine is the hormone-like substance produced at the early stages of attraction that provokes the dizzy sensation some people feel when they're falling in love. It triggers the release of norepinephrine, which helps the body respond to stress, and dopamine, "the joy and reward chemical," Olds said.
The initial happy feelings of being in love is stimulated by 3 chemicals in the brain: noradrenaline that stimulates adrenaline production causing that racing heart and sweaty palms; dopamine, the feel-good chemical; and phenylethylamine that is released when we're near our crush, giving us butterflies in our tummies.
Being love-struck also releases high levels of dopamine, a chemical that “gets the reward system going,” said Olds. Dopamine activates the reward circuit, helping to make love a pleasurable experience similar to the euphoria associated with use of cocaine or alcohol.
Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.
“A man will commit when he feels a deep connection with a woman that he doesn't feel with anyone else; when he finds a lover who is also his best friend that makes him feel special and unique,” Tripp says.
A study of 172 college students found men reported falling in love earlier than women and expressing that sentiment first. According to Broadly, the reason men are quicker to say 'I love you' may be because women are biologically predisposed to be pickier when selecting a partner.
Dopamine dips from its orgasmic high and prolactin and androgen step in to produce feelings of satiety, pleasantness, and to make us want to take a break. At least for a while.
For many men, ejaculation is a sign of sexual pleasure and satisfaction. There is no definite age at which male ejaculation stops, but it has been suggested that it may occur when a man reaches his late 40s or early 50s. There are steps you can take to prevent premature ejaculation.
Oxytocin - the "cuddle" hormone - is why women like to cuddle up after sex. Their oxytocin levels are much higher after sexual encounters, creating a feeling of closeness and comfort. Men also have oxytocin, but it is compensated for by higher levels of testosterone - so they are less prone to cuddling!
In many ways, men may fall in love in a way that mimics the female experience. The early stages can involve an infatuation with someone else, which can slowly deepen into trust, compassion and deep attachment. Men may also fall in love quickly and feel a strong need for affection from their partners.
Oxytocin is sometimes called the love hormone because it's responsible for some of the positive emotions you feel during attraction and sexual desire.