The term “Vilomah” describes a parent who has lost their child. Life has its natural order, and in that order, children are supposed to outlive their parents.
Vilomah means “against the natural order of things.” It comes from Sanskrit, the same language that gave us the word widow which means “empty.” I have lived, “against the natural order of things,” for almost 11 years now.
To every courageous loss mama, with an aching heart and empty arms, I leave you with this: Yes, you are a still a mother, and you always, always will be. The love you two share is forever, just as your motherhood is forever.
She's one who holds it together in the big things and falls apart over spilled milk. Who loves deeply those closest to her, but keeps her heart guarded for protection from others. She's one who grimaces at the first laughs after loss but later laughs louder than most.
A neonatal death (also called a newborn death) is when a baby dies during the first 28 days of life. Most neonatal deaths happen in the first week after birth. Neonatal death is different from stillbirth. A stillbirth is when the baby dies at any time between 20 weeks of pregnancy and the due date of birth.
You can consider: Sending your condolences: "I am so sorry to hear of the loss of (insert child's name). Offering a short anecdote or observation: "(Insert child's name) had such a beautiful soul and I feel so lucky to have spent time with them." Offering support: "I am here for you and am thinking of you."
Talk about your child often and use his or her name. Ask family and friends for help with housework, errands, and caring for other children. This will give you important time to think, remember, and grieve. Take time deciding what to do with your child's belongings.
Coping strategies include finding support, expressing your feelings verbally or through creative outlets, and seeking professional help from a therapist. Losing a child is one of the most painful events a parent can experience. A therapist can help you deal with the pain, sadness, and anger.
Seek professional help when coming to terms with your loss. Don't try to get through this situation on your own. Family counseling can give you and your family the skills you need to get through the tremendously difficult loss.
'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” I have no one else like him, who will show genuine concern for your welfare.
The death of a husband or wife is well recognized as an emotionally devastating event, being ranked on life event scales as the most stressful of all possible losses. ...
There are two distinct aspects to marital partnerships.
There is substantial evidence from comparative and longitudinal studies that the grief of parents following the loss of a child is more intense and prolonged than that of other losses.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Wishing you peace during this difficult time. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thinking of you in these difficult times.
You have my deepest sympathy and unwavering support. Wishing you peace, comfort, courage, and lots of love at this time of sorrow. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. Wishing you the best and know you have my full support in every moment.
