The trauma of losing a pet is a profound grief, often as intense as losing a human, stemming from the loss of an unconditional love source, disrupted routines, and a vital emotional support system, leading to feelings like deep sadness, guilt, emptiness, anxiety, and even symptoms of PTSD, especially when compounded by societal dismissal or sudden loss, making it a valid and sometimes debilitating experience. YouTube +3
No, it isn't weird. Pet loss is traumatic. Loss is loss, and we each experience it differently. No one has the right to tell you how to grieve or to set a time limit on your sorrow. A broken heart heals in its own time.
How to accept your dog's death?
There is no set timeline for going through the stages of grief. For some people, it takes weeks or months; for others, it may take years. And some people never fully get over losing a special pet, although time usually softens their sense of loss.
When we adopt pets, we know we're entering a relationship that will, most likely, end in loss. But for many people, pet grief can nonetheless be surprisingly devastating when it happens. Research shows that grief following the loss of a pet can be comparable to losing a person and, in some cases, even more complicated.
In order to have a complete understanding of pet bereavement we should consider 7 main stages – Shock, Denial, Bargaining, Guilt, Anger, Depression, & Acceptance.
Mourning alone
Losing a beloved pet can also feel especially lonely. Not only is the home literally emptier, but other (non-pet-owning) humans might have difficulty empathizing. “People will grieve in isolation because they don't want to be invalidated in how distraught they are,” Crossley says.
Make sure the child understands what “dying” means.
However, it is important for the child to know that the pet has died and will not be coming back. Be available to let your child discuss his/her feelings about what happened. You may want to hold your own service to memorialize the pet and to say goodbye formally.
Here are some of the best ways to heal from the emotional pain after the loss of a pet.
When grieving, don't suppress emotions, isolate yourself, rush the process, or use substances to numb pain; instead, allow yourself to feel, stay connected with supportive people, and seek professional help if needed, as grief has no timeline and everyone experiences it uniquely. Avoid platitudes like "everything happens for a reason" or "they're in a better place," and don't make major decisions too soon. Focus on self-care, even if it's basic, and accept that grief is messy, not linear.
So that your sleep patterns return to something more like normal and you begin to wake refreshed and ready to face each new day again:
You've experienced a loss, and it's OK to let yourself feel all the feelings surrounding it. “Cry whenever you feel like crying,” says Geipert.
Do pets know when another pet is dying? Pets may not understand death like we do, but many respond to our emotions. Dogs in particular can be emotional sponges. Some pets may seem anxious, others unaffected.
When a pet passes, the synchronized rhythms of affection, comfort, and shared presence are suddenly severed. Your brain, your body, and your emotional self must recalibrate without the living presence of that bond. This is similar to what happens after the death of a child.
Many people find it helpful to tell their pets what it is they feel guilty about and to ask their pets for forgiveness. This also can be done by writing a letter to your pet. Some find it helpful to take this a step beyond their own feelings and to write themselves a response from their pet.
They are family. So, when a beloved pet dies, the grief can feel overwhelming. For some, like me, it does more than break your heart. The death of a pet can reopen old emotional wounds, intensifying past trauma and worsening existing mental health challenges.
Just like after losing a human loved one, the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—can provide a framework for understanding the complex emotions experienced after the loss of a pet.
Instead, focus on the life you shared with your pet and some of your favorite memories with them. Remember, your pet's pain has passed. You are the one in pain now, and you must lovingly care for yourself. Reach out to others who can lend a sympathetic ear.
Grief at the cellular level
It is entirely possible to experience something called broken-hearted syndrome over the death of a pet. This is an intense surge of stress hormones related to an emotional event and causes chest pain and shortness of breath, and in some cases, acute cardiac events.
Mark the moment in a peaceful way.
Jessica Vogelsang, works in pet hospice and home euthanasia, and one of her recommendations is to light a candle during the appointment, and then, once the pet has passed and you've said your final goodbye, blow it out to symbolize the end.
The Rainbow Bridge is an excellent way to explain what happens when a pet passes away. You can inform your little one that Fluffy walked over a rainbow bridge that led him or her to heaven. Then, inform your child that one day far in the future, your whole family will reunite with Fluffy, each at his or her own time.
The research suggests that a friendly goodbye might not be the emotional trigger we once thought it was, at least not for most dogs. In fact, an undramatic departure may ONLY be best for dogs who are already suffering from separation anxiety.
The hardest deaths to grieve often involve a child, a spouse/life partner, or a loss due to suicide or homicide, as these challenge fundamental beliefs about life's order, shatter primary support systems, or add layers of trauma, guilt, and unanswered questions, leading to potentially complicated grief. However, grief is deeply personal, and the "hardest" loss is ultimately the one that feels most significant to the individual.
It's natural to wonder how long these feelings will last. Grief after losing a pet can last anywhere from six months to two years or more, depending on your unique experience and circumstances. The journey through grief is personal, and comparing your timeline to someone else's isn't helpful.
The study suggests that many people experience significant attachment to their pets/animals and experience significant features of grief reactions (about 20%) after the death of a pet/animal. However, the percentage of people experiencing major pathological disruption is relatively low (<5%-12%).