Research has found the most common reasons people give for their divorce are lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse.
It is no surprise, then, that marital infidelity is a leading cause of divorce. Just how common is marital infidelity? According to a study from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, as many as 25 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women have had extramarital affairs.
If you think that sexual infidelity is the leading cause of divorce, you've got it all wrong. We polled over 100 YourTango experts to see what they say are the top reasons married couples decide to split, and -- believe it or not -- communication problems came out on top as the number one reason marriages fail.
According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.
What is the average length of marriage? On average, the length of a marriage in the U.S. is seven to eight years. Some states have a higher rate than others, but the divorce rate for the country is around 50%.
Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages: Lack of commitment 73% Argue too much 56%
A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And the percentage of college-educated American women who initiated divorce is even higher.
There are many risk factors for divorce such as marrying at an early age, low income, low education level, cohabitation before marriage, no religious affiliation, being a minority race, insecurity and unstable mental health, multiple marriages, premarital pregnancy, and having divorced parents.
1. Communication Issues. The most common complaint among married couples is lack of communication. Many couples put up with problems rather than try to fix them.
Using Power and Control. This is by far the most destructive force any human can bring to a marital relationship, and obviously includes the use of physical and sexual abuse or violence.
There are quite a few reasons, it turns out, but there are three main that those who have sought divorce often give those who ask: growing apart, an inability to communicate, and broken trust.
Among married and cohabiting adults, love is cited more than any other reason for why they decided to get married or to move in with their partner: 90% of those who are married and 73% of those living with a partner say love was a major factor in their decision.
According to a 2013 study conducted by researchers at London's Kingston University, the majority of women were significantly happier than they'd ever been after divorce. The study surveyed 10,000 men and women over the course of two decades.
In the survey participants were asked to rate their happiness before and after their divorce. During a 20 year period, researchers found that women were happier and more satisfied with their lives after divorce.
Health Issues
While both genders see a rise in deaths following divorce, the rate for men is 1,773 per 100,000, compared to 1,096 for women. Sociologists hypothesize that one reason may be that men have less practice, and therefore fewer skills, when it comes to taking care of themselves.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
In 2020, the median length from marriage to separation in Australia was 8.4 years. In the same year, the median duration of marriage to divorce was 12.1 years.
Australia divorce rates vs the world
The divorce rate in Australia sits in the mid point of this range, with 1.9 per 1,000 residents. This places Australia behind the United States at 2.5 divorces occurring per 1,000 people each year.
The Maldives has the highest divorce rate in the world, with 5.52 divorces per 1,000 people per year.
"If you're no longer spending any time together, if one or both partners is spending all their time at work, with friends, online — and if feels like a relief not to be with each other — it's a sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage." You don't support or listen to each other.
What causes divorce in marriage? Infidelity, lack of communication, financial troubles, and sparing sex and intimacy sessions are some of the common reasons for divorce.
In their 2006 book, The 7 Stages of Marriage, marriage therapist DeMaria and co-writer Harrar present the 7 stages as: Passion, Realization, Rebellion, Cooperation, Reunion, Explosion and Completion.