Scapegoat theory refers to the tendency to blame someone else for one's own problems, a process that often results in feelings of prejudice toward the person or group that one is blaming. Scapegoating serves as an opportunity to explain failure or misdeeds, while maintaining one's positive self-image.
The definition of scapegoating according to the American Psychological Association (APA) is “the process of directing one's anger, frustration, and aggression onto others and targeting them as the source of one's problems and misfortunes”.
Scapegoating as a group necessitates that ingroup members settle on one specific target to blame for their problems. Scapegoating is also more likely to appear when a group has experienced difficult, prolonged negative experiences (as opposed to minor annoyances).
People who scapegoat others have certain particular traits; theseinclude a sense of superiority and pride, a large ego which needs maintaining, feelings of entitlement and grandiosity, limited personal self-reflection,poor character, self-righteousness, and hypocrisy. Did I mention arrogance?
More specifically: Scapegoated adults often feel debilitated by self-doubt and 'imposter syndrome' in their relationships and in the work-place, and blame themselves for their difficulties.
Of the child roles in the narcissistic family, the entitled and enmeshed golden child is probably most likely to develop a narcissistic personality. However, being scapegoated can also lead to narcissism, particularly the covert form.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional abuse where victims are made to question themselves and their grasp of reality. Different types of gaslighting include reality manipulation or questioning, outright lies, trivializing, scapegoating, and coercion.
A scapegoated child may feel isolated to the point that they do not know how to bring attention to the pain they are feeling. In these cases, self-harm or self-sabotaging behaviors could help to draw attention to their suffering.
Effects of Being a Scapegoat
Trauma: Being deprived of a family's love, singled out as the “bad one” in the household, and having one's positive attributes overlooked can set up a child for a lifetime of emotional and psychological distress, where they struggle believing they are good, worthy, competent, or likable.
As analyzed by René Girard in his classic study The Scapegoat, scapegoating involves the accusation and punishment of innocent victims for crimes they have not committed.
They might try to defy authority or argue when they disagree with something. Or, they may be so used to being perceived as a failure that they don't even try to succeed. Impaired self-esteem: More than anything, almost all scapegoats struggle with a damaged sense of self.
Scapegoating can also take on a group-on-one form, meaning that a group of people singles out and blames one person for a problem. For example, multiple members of a sports team may blame a player who makes a mistake for the loss of a match despite other aspects of play affecting the outcome.
The scapegoat was sent into the wilderness for Azazel, possibly for the purpose of placating that evil spirit, while a separate goat was slain as an offering to God. By extension, a scapegoat has come to mean any group or individual that innocently bears the blame of others.
When a scapegoat leaves their family of origin they are going to experience a lot of invalidation, devaluation, dehumanization, and chaos that is designed to manipulate them back into the abuse cycle and remain a repository for the family's negative emotions.
Doubling down on blaming the scapegoat
When the scapegoat leaves, the narcissistic family system may double down on the scapegoating behavior and continue to blame the scapegoat for all of the family's problems, even after they have left.
One of the greatest challenges faced by adult survivors of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) is the tendency to ruminate over past painful incidents with family or be consumed by feelings of low self-worth, shame, anger, or grief.
Often, the reasons why family members choose you as a scapegoat have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. So, focus on self-care and positive affirmations. Take time away from them if needed and practice positive self-talk each day, such as: “I will not be a victim of unfair blame.”
Speak up for yourself when you are scapegoated.
I told you that I will not be held responsible for your financial troubles.” Keep in mind that after changing your boundaries, people will likely test your boundaries. They may try hard to make you give in, but it is important to hold firm in your boundaries.
By choosing a scapegoat to unload their inner misery onto, narcissists show themselves to be the ultimate gaslighters. They wish to fill their victim with doubt and confusion, but in the process, they overlook how it actually illustrates their own inadequacies.
The narcissist charms everyone around them. They manipulate others to support their distorted version of reality. All the while, they enjoy the feeling of power they get from making the scapegoat suffer. The narcissist is driven by envy, jealousy and a lack of empathy.
“Gaslighters have two signature moves,” she wrote. “They lie with the intent of creating a false reality, and they cut off their victims socially.” They spread gossip, they take credit for other people's work, and they undercut others in furtherance of their own position.
Scapegoats often have trouble feeling safe in relationships – especially intimate relationships – due to the massive betrayal of trust in their family. They can also have challenges managing emotions, and find they either feel overwhelmed and anxious, or shut down and not know how they are feeling.
The Golden Child vs The Scapegoat. Narcissistic parents project different parts of themselves onto their children. They use the golden child to project their unfulfilled dreams and ambitions, while the scapegoat is a receptacle for their shame, self-loathing, and insecurities.
Healing from shame requires a high level of awareness when the Inner Scapegoat has been activated – challenging negative and self-punitive beliefs, and truthfully reframing victimizing experiences. Scapegoats must consistently stand up to the idea that they are bad or unlovable. This will likely take a lot of practice.
A scapegoat is a person or group you place blame on. When scapegoating children, the child is blamed or shamed for all the issues that arise within dysfunctional households.