A primary relationship pattern of someone with NPD is objectification. They will continuously use you for their own gain. In short, they will not see you as a valuable and worthwhile person. To them, you are only a tool they can use to get what they want.
Those who provide specialized support for narcissistic abuse recovery describe a cycle with three stages: idealize, devalue, and discard.
“In a narcissistic relationship, the narcissist may have difficulty respecting their partner's boundaries, both emotional and physical,” Raja tells mbg. “They might make unreasonable demands, invade their partner's privacy, or pressure them into uncomfortable situations.”
Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
It is never a good feeling when a narcissist walks out of a relationship. They can break up so abruptly that you may be left behind wondering why things had moved to the point of no return. Rather than drowning yourself in self-pity, you need to take proper action.
They will often break up with their partner but they will do it in stages until the victim is too worn down to leave them. One of the most common reasons that narcissists give for breaking up with their partner is that they feel like they are not good enough for them or they don't want to hurt them by staying together.
Narcissists all follow the same patterns — here are some of the most common phrases they use to manipulate you. Narcissists often follow the same pattern in relationships: idealize, devalue, discard.
People with NPD have a grandiose sense of self. They typically feel like they're important — and often more important than others. They commonly seek out attention and aim to be the center of everyone's attention, often putting themselves before others. But at its core, NPD is defined by a lack of empathy for others.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist will often come on very strong, put you on a pedestal, and make you feel incredibly special. Anna, 28, describes her experience, “In the beginning, he treated me like an absolute queen.
The telltale warning sign of a narcissist is how deeply self-absorbed they are. Narcissists love to ramble on about how amazing they are and how much they have accomplished. By the end of a date, it's likely they haven't asked you anything about yourself. Because it's always about them.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
Regularly talks about their fantasies of power, success, or beauty. Conversations often revolve around material things and never get too deep. Behaves as if they're exceptionally “special.” They feel like they can only be understood by other “special” people. Envious of others or think that others are envious of them.
According to a 2019 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, people with NPD have traits that make it harder to love another person. Your narcissistic spouse may not be able to support you or show genuine emotion. Any love or affection they show is often given only for their own benefit.
If your ex had a narcissistic personality, chances are they moved on to the next relationship pretty soon after your breakup.
On the other hand, research shows that narcissists are especially likely to blame another person for a mutually caused failure and respond to social rejection with outsized anger and aggression. Narcissists also tend to see themselves as superior to other people, including their romantic partners.