We polled over 100 YourTango experts to see what they say are the top reasons married couples decide to split, and -- believe it or not -- communication problems came out on top as the number one reason marriages fail.
Marital Infidelity
More often than not, however, an extramarital affair is cause for hurt feelings, broken trust, and potentially irreconcilable differences. It is no surprise, then, that marital infidelity is a leading cause of divorce.
Using Power and Control. This is by far the most destructive force any human can bring to a marital relationship, and obviously includes the use of physical and sexual abuse or violence.
Betrayal leads to the breakdown of all of the bonds that hold a relationship together: emotional, physical, spiritual. The trust, respect, loyalty, and communication are so damaged that many couples decide to divorce because they can't find a way to get past the betrayal.
Communication Issues
The most common complaint among married couples is lack of communication. Many couples put up with problems rather than try to fix them. In the beginning they agreed he would earn money and she would take care of the house and kids.
Having unrealistic expectations destroys marriages
A healthy marriage requires hard work, support, trust, compromise, and at times even sacrifice to make it work. When you have unrealistic expectations in a relationship from your partner, it burdens them.
According to one study, approximately 15 percent of married couples are sexless: Spouses haven't had sex with each other in the past six months to one year.
According to a recent survey of 191 CDFA professionals from across North America, the three leading causes of divorce are "basic incompatibility" (43%), "infidelity" (28%), and "money issues" (22%).
The average age for couples going through their first divorce is 30 years old. 24. 60 percent of all divorces involve individuals aged 25 to 39.
According to a survey from Ramsey Solutions, fights revolving around money are the second leading cause of divorces in the U.S., with infidelity being the leading cause. The combination of ineffective communication and debt often causes stress around financial situations, leading many couples to seek a divorce.
Among married and cohabiting adults, love is cited more than any other reason for why they decided to get married or to move in with their partner: 90% of those who are married and 73% of those living with a partner say love was a major factor in their decision.
According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married. However, the gender gap varies per age.
Usually, these four horsemen clip-clop into the heart of a marriage in the following order: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Rage, disrespect, and emotional stonewalling may not be relationship-ending in and of themselves, but continuing patterns can wear people down. An inability or unwillingness to respect your partner's thoughts, beliefs, and feelings can destroy the trust and intimacy in any relationship.
The average length of a first marriage that ends in divorce is roughly eight years—7.8 years for men, 7.9 for women. Moving into second marriages that end in divorce, the timeline shortens somewhat. In these cases, the median length for men is 7.3 years, while for women it drops to 6.8 years.
What is the average length of marriage? On average, the length of a marriage in the U.S. is seven to eight years. Some states have a higher rate than others, but the divorce rate for the country is around 50%.