According to Gottman's research from 1994, contempt is the No. 1 predictor of divorce within the first 6 years of marriage. Research from 2019 also suggests that harboring contempt is a predictor of an illness and poor well-being.
John Gottman of the University of Washington, a foremost expert on couple studies, concluded after over 20 years of research that the single, best predictor of divorce is when one or both partners show contempt in the relationship.
The Four Horsemen are four communication habits that increase the likelihood of divorce, according to research by psychologist and renowned marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph. D. Those four behaviors are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.
That's power. For over 40 years, John and Julie Gottman have studied couples' interactions with each other and have found that the number one predictor of divorce is contempt for your partner.
According to a recent survey of 191 CDFA professionals from across North America, the three leading causes of divorce are "basic incompatibility" (43%), "infidelity" (28%), and "money issues" (22%).
A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And the percentage of college-educated American women who initiated divorce is even higher.
What causes divorce in marriage? Infidelity, lack of communication, financial troubles, and sparing sex and intimacy sessions are some of the common reasons for divorce.
Elementary school age (6–12) This is arguably the toughest age for children to deal with the separation or divorce of their parents.
After all, almost 50% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce. While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8.
According to a survey from Ramsey Solutions, fights revolving around money are the second leading cause of divorces in the U.S., with infidelity being the leading cause. The combination of ineffective communication and debt often causes stress around financial situations, leading many couples to seek a divorce.
According to John Gottman of the Gottman Institute, the single greatest predictor for a successful marriage is repairing skills. Repairing skills refers to a couple's ability to resolve conflict. Of course, this includes having the ability to communicate effectively.
Steady rise in the average age at divorce. The average age at marriage for persons who divorced was 23.7 years in 1980, increasing to 30.7 years in 2020. Similarly, the average duration of marriages ending in divorce rose from 12.5 years in 1980 to 15.3 years in 2020.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
Which Months Do Divorce Filings Peak? Divorce rates peak in March and August. There are a number of reasons these two months see a large increase in divorce and separation. People are less likely to divorce during the winter holidays since these events revolve around time spent with family.
Usually, these four horsemen clip-clop into the heart of a marriage in the following order: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Gray (or grey) divorce refers to a divorce involving individuals who are 50 years of age or older. Many high-profile cases, such as Bill and Melinda Gates, Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus, and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, have brought attention to the growing number of gray divorces.
There are times you MUST leave—if there is ongoing abuse or if you are in danger of physical harm, you should only consider staying safe. Repeated bouts of addiction, cheating, emotional badgering, and severe financial abuse need to be handled with extreme care as well.