In general, passive-aggressive communication can often be spotted in the wild as someone muttering under their breath or giving someone dirty looks, smiling when they're clearly angry or upset, being sarcastic, making backhanded compliments or even purposely sabotaging the other person as a form of quiet revenge.
Passive-aggressive actions can erode the health of your relationships and friendships. Your passive-aggression points to an unmet need, and if you don't communicate openly, you likely will never get this need met, and the relationship may crumble around it. Passive aggression can hurt your career.
Silence and non-responsiveness are not only passive aggressive forms of manipulation and attention seeking; they can also be used as tools to promote changes in behavior.
Sarcasm is when a person says something they do not mean. This can be passive-aggressive when a person wields sarcasm as a tool for punishing others. For example, they might sarcastically mock a loved one's emotions or personality traits.
WordFinder also identified some of the least passive-aggressive work phrases, including “Sorry to bother you again,” “Any update on this” and “I'll take care of it.” According to Mercurio, the difference in the delivery of these phrases have to do with timing and attitude.
They ask questions that make you feel defensive.
Instead of asking, "What does that involve?" or saying, "I've heard about keto diets, but don't know much about them," or even just, "How is that going for you?" a passive-aggressive person might say, "Why did you ever decide to do that?"
Assertive, not aggressive, confrontation is the best way to frustrate the goals of a passive-aggressive person. You see, passive-aggressive people hate confrontation. It's not their style. When you catch them in the moment and stand up for yourself assertively, you catch them off guard.
Examples of passive-aggression are playing the game of emotional “get-back” with someone by resisting cooperation with them, giving them the “silent treatment,” pouting or whining, not so accidentally “forgetting” something they wanted you to do because you're angry and didn't really feel like obliging them, etc.
Passive bullying is not overt and can often be overlooked as a result. It can include subtle things such as offhand negative remarks or jokes; undermining colleagues through the quiet spread of misinformation; sabotaging a colleague's work by withholding information; or deliberately socially excluding people.
What is it? According to the American Psychological Association (APA), PAPD is “a personality disorder of long standing in which ambivalence toward the self and others” is expressed by passive expressions of underlying negativism. This means that PAPD is a chronic, generally inflexible, condition.
Covert narcissists often behave in passive-aggressive ways. They disregard others while exaggerating their own importance. They also blame, shame, and ignore the feelings and needs of other people.
Resentment and opposition to the demands of others, especially the demands of people in positions of authority. Resistance to cooperation, procrastination and intentional mistakes in response to others' demands. Cynical, sullen or hostile attitude. Frequent complaints about feeling underappreciated or cheated.
It can include actions such as subtle insults, sarcasm, procrastination, or avoiding certain tasks that the passive-aggressive person finds unpleasant. People who exhibit this behavior may be afraid of confrontation or conflict, so they will instead express their feelings through passive-aggressive behaviors.
People may act like this because they fear losing control, are insecure, or lack self-esteem . They might do it to cope with stress, anxiety , depression, or insecurity, or to deal with rejection or conflict. Alternatively, they might do it because they have a grudge against a colleague, or feel underappreciated.
You act passive-aggressively toward them.
It occurs when you don't want to directly act out to express a negative emotion. For example, you become sullen or sulk when you're around your romantic partner's friends but perk up once they leave.
Chronic lying and deception is one of the most common types of passive-aggressive gaslighting, whereby the gaslighter creates a false narrative about or against the gaslightee that has little proof or validity.
Someone who uses passive aggression may feel angry, resentful, or frustrated, but they act neutral, pleasant, or even cheerful. They then find indirect ways to show how they really feel. Passive aggression isn't a mental illness. But people with mental health conditions may act that way.
Acts out aggression physically
A passive-aggressive person may slam doors, move things around loudly, or use other physical means of getting their point across without words.
Passive Behavior involves saying nothing in a response, keeping feelings to yourself, hiding feelings from others, and perhaps even hiding your feelings from yourself. Passive behavior is often dishonest and involves letting other people violate your personal right to be treated with respect and dignity.
“People who are passive-aggressive often [have] low self-esteem; they tend to be anxious and feel that they must control others,” explains Colleen Wenner, a licensed mental health counselor in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.