While preferences vary, research consistently highlights kindness (agreeableness), confidence, emotional intelligence, and authenticity as universally attractive personality traits that foster deep connections, with positivity and a sense of purpose also being highly valued across genders and for long-term relationships. These qualities signal character, reliability, and compatibility, often surpassing physical looks in importance for lasting attraction.
This blog explores seven key qualities that make someone attractive, backed by research in personality psychology, emotional intelligence, and social cognition.
By and large, we tend to be drawn toward people who are funny, smart, assertive, or physically attractive. Arguably, these represent the four most common types of social magnetism. While these attributes are universally valued, the degree of importance attached to each quality varies across cultures.
While it depends on perspective, three universally valued positive character traits are: Integrity – The foundation of trust and honesty. Empathy – Understanding and connecting with others. Resilience – The ability to adapt and thrive despite setbacks.
Typically, features such as larger eyes, a slender nose, pronounced cheekbones, plump lips, and overall harmonious proportions are deemed attractive. However, beauty is subjective and varies across cultures and individuals.
All in all, these tests are trying to discover how much your behavior varies from high to low in the five traits which include; Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism.
Yes, the idea that people see you as significantly more attractive (often cited as around 20% more) than you see yourself is a common concept in psychology, stemming from research suggesting we are overly critical of our own appearance due to familiarity and focusing on flaws, while others see a more complete picture including personality, kindness, and humor. This difference happens because you see yourself in mirrors (reversed) and photos (often unflattering angles/lighting) while others see you as you are, in real-time, noticing your overall vibe, confidence, and smile more than minor imperfections.
The top 3 rarest personality types are consistently identified as INFJ (The Advocate), ENTJ (The Commander), and INTJ (The Architect), with INFJ usually being the absolute rarest (around 1.5%), followed by ENTJ (around 1.8%), and INTJ (around 2-3%) of the general population, according to Psych Central, Redeemed Mental Health, and Reddit.
Developing powerful personality traits
7 Core Personality Factors
Remember, these qualities – emotional intelligence, independence, playfulness, authenticity, being a good listener, optimism, resilience, and kindness – are not just attractive, they also contribute to healthier, happier relationships.
It adds a sixth factor, "Honesty-Humility" to the five (which it calls "Emotionality", "Extraversion", "Agreeableness", "Conscientiousness", and "Openness to Experience"). Each of these factors has four facets.
Instead, traits like agreeableness, extraversion and intelligence score consistently higher than physical attraction as things that men and women in same-sex and different-sex couples look for in a partner.
What Personality Types are Most Polite?
Here, we look at the collective, the attributes and qualities that drive all women crazy (in a good way, of course).
How Romantic Are You? The 16 Personality Types, Ranked
Kindness is one of the most universally attractive traits. People are naturally drawn to those who are empathetic, compassionate, and willing to offer a helping hand. Acts of kindness show emotional intelligence and a genuine care for others, which makes anyone instantly more likable.
Elon Musk's personality is often described using Myers-Briggs as INTP (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) or sometimes INTJ, and his Enneagram type as a visionary Type 5 (The Investigator) with healthy Type 8 traits (The Challenger), highlighting his intellectual curiosity, analytical thinking, focus on innovation, and ambitious drive to solve big problems, though some sources note traits of a "sigma male" or high conscientiousness with emotional instability.
Put simply, the most most important trait the successful people share is likability. And it is simple (when we think about it). In the long term, likable people win out over all others. They are more fun to work with, inspire loyalty amongst their peers and are “lighter to lift” within any team or organization.
Sixteen personality types: The most common types among gifted adolescents were INFP, INTP, ENFP, and ENTP, which constituted nearly 50% of the gifted sample compared with 19% of the normative group. The most common preference among gifted adolescents is intuition.
Taylor Swift is widely typed as an ESFJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging), often called "The Consul," known for being loyal, caring, organized, and people-focused, with an Enneagram 3w2 for being ambitious and image-conscious, though her complex career and songwriting lead to debates, with some suggesting ENFJ or ISFJ, while her music itself hints at various types.
The top 5 rarest personality types ranked
Excluding the 10% most and 10% least beautiful women, women's attractiveness does not change between 18 and 40. If extremes are included, however, "there's no doubt that younger [women] are more physically attractive – indeed in many ways beauty and youth are inextricable.
Top 6 Signs You're Attractive
According to psychology, when we see ourselves in the mirror, we tend to think of ourselves as prettier, than how we actually look to others, in real life. That's the perception of the mirror, vs what you look like to others in real life.