Middle Child Syndrome is the idea that the middle children of a family, those born in between siblings, are treated or seen differently by their parents from the rest of their siblings.
Middle Child Syndrome Characteristics
To compensate for a perceived lack of attention, middle children may either act rebellious or try to people-please. Their behavior may be partially based on their older sibling's personality.
Middle child syndrome can include a possible set of behaviors that may explain your personality traits or those of a sibling or child, among other things. Some research has found that birth order may affect mental health, behaviors, intelligence, and how close you feel to your parents.
For some, birth order is one of these factors. However, the concept of middle child syndrome is not medically proven. In fact, no recent studies have found any strong correlation between birth order and specific personality traits.
Characteristics of a Middle Child
They're good at being mediators and want fairness in situations. They're also trustworthy friends and work well as team members. Not as family-oriented as their siblings. They may have a stronger sense of not belonging than their siblings do.
Middle children can feel undervalued and overlooked — at least when they're growing up. "Middle child syndrome" may not be an actual clinical syndrome, but those born in the middle can often feel like like they're being ignored.
In terms of the individual traits, middle kids are 6.93 percent more likely to be Feelers, and 7.23 percent less likely to be Thinkers than if personality had no relationship with your position in the family hierarchy. This is significant! There's another trait to consider here and that's Extraversion.
"It can leave many adults feeling like they're invisible and not special," says Thompson. "It can show up in relationships and can often make middle child syndrome adults feel inadequate and not worthy of love and affection. They can always have this feeling that someone else would be better."
They may be overlooked in terms of parental time, attention or special treatment. Some children may develop a habit of being extra-helpful, or always present with their parent, to ensure they get noticed. Others might show their displeasure at being overlooked by getting angry or aggressive.
Popular culture imagines they are forgotten, rebellious, or unable to measure up to their older or younger siblings. In fact, stereotypes often tell us that middle children aren't as smart, connected to the family, capable as leaders, or likely to follow rules as their older or younger siblings.
And experts say middle children do tend to be more empathetic. As a middle child, I have multiple perspectives on sibling relationships that my older and younger siblings never had. When you're the middle child, you have an older role model to learn from or look up to, and a younger prodigy to teach.
Middle Born
Dating you is like being dealt a wild card — it's hard to predict how the ride will turn out to be. However, most often, you're easy to get along with and you know how to listen. You don't have too big of an ego and you're not too fussed over if your partner wants pizza or fine dining for the next date.
When you notice this happening, ask family members to treat all of the children equally or to spend a little more time with your middle child. While it may take some time for you and your family to adjust to new additions, by being fair and attentive, you can raise a really happy middle child.
Overall, 38 percent of Americans who are the youngest in their family report they were the favorite, compared to 27 percent of those who were oldest. Middle children are the least likely to say they were a favorite child; only 20 percent believe they were.
While the youngest sibling is usually the funniest kid, mom and dad favor the youngest for a reason that might surprise you. According to a new study conducted by Brigham Young University's School of Family Life, the youngest sibling of the family tends to be mom and dad's favorite child because of perception.
It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex. Experience more peer pressure. Become more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches. Body image and eating problems sometimes start around this age.
Set boundaries and stick to them.
It's important to set boundaries in all relationships, including your family. As an adult middle child, you might feel like your siblings constantly pull you in different directions. But you need to prioritize your own needs and boundaries.
Middle children tend to be more satisfied with marriage in general, but they seem to pair best with spouses who are the youngest in their family.
Middle children are good under pressure
Some research shows that firstborn children have a higher risk of depression than middle or last born kids. Unlike firstborn kids, middles are usually under less pressure from their parents to succeed.
Middle children are less likely to be Introverts (-5.74%) and more likely to be Extraverts (+5.39%). Youngest children are very slightly more likely to be Introverts (+1.13%) than they are Extraverts (-1.07%). Only children are less likely to be Introverts (-2.23%).
It's hard to be the big sib. No matter how old you are, you're expected to take more responsibility, even when you're a very young person yourself. That's one reason that oldest children are often described as responsible, sensitive, perfectionistic, and a bit more anxious than their siblings.
The first born may experience certain emotions differently than the middle and youngest child or visa versa. According to Adler, the first born is more susceptible to depression because of high expectations of parents and suddenly losing the attention due to another sibling being born.
Often, parents really are less close to the middle child because there is simply less one-on-one time to build a relationship. Not only are middle children babied for a shorter period of time, they get less parental attention at every stage.