Public shaming is the act of discrediting an individual in front of their peers. Whether it's a 'ding' board or your boss calling you out in a meeting, it is very real for many employees and can cause unduly stress.
In organisational settings, shame is defined as “a painful emotion that arises when an employee evaluates a threat to the self when he/she has fallen off an important standard tied to a work-related identity”.
What Does Shaming Look and Sound Like? Shaming makes the child wrong for feeling, wanting or needing something. It can take many forms; here are some everyday examples: The put-down: "You naughty boy!", "You're acting like a spoiled child!", "You selfish brat!", "You cry-baby!".
Further means of public humiliation and degradation consist in forcing people to wear typifying clothes, which can be penitential garb or prison uniforms. Forcing arrestees or prisoners to wear restraints (such as handcuffs or shackles) may also increase public humiliation.
For example, individuals in wartime who are forced by their captors, against all of their cultural and religious beliefs, to strip naked, to be led around on all fours on a leash, or to witness the rape of their own wives and daughters, would be examples of persons humiliated in this way.
Experiencing body-shaming can interfere with your self-image and make you feel extremely self-conscious. This can escalate into body dysmorphic disorder, where you become obsessed with a perceived appearance flaw that can create repeated avoidance behaviors.
Reintegrative shaming communicates shame to a wrongdoer in a way that encourages him or her to desist; stigmatization shames in a way that makes things worse. So what is the difference?
People who feel shame have a tendency to cover their shameful truths, or, if they have been exposed, to hide or disappear4. The typical body language of ashamed people is a 'shrinking' body, bowed head, and averted eyes2.
Toxic shame is a feeling that you're worthless. It happens when other people treat you poorly and you turn that treatment into a belief about yourself.
Shame-based behaviors seek to quell overwhelming and complex feelings of humiliation and grief through escapism. Avoidance, self-harm, addiction, and compulsions are all shame-based behaviors that seek to mask the painful feeling.
Slumped shoulders, lowering our head, looking down, avoiding eye contact, hesitant speech patterns – these are clues that we feel unworthy and want to avoid letting anyone else see into us.
Shame has various root causes. Sometimes shame is instilled in early childhood by the harsh words or actions of parents or other authority figures, or from bullying by peers. Shame can stem from a person's own poor choices or harmful behavior.
Shame may be used by those people who commit relational aggression and may occur in the workplace as a form of overt social control or aggression. Shaming is used in some societies as a type of punishment, shunning, or ostracism.
As mentioned before, overcoming shame means acknowledging it and sharing your feelings with trusted people. This requires a level of vulnerability that can be quite anxiety-inducing. If your wounds are deep enough, you might want to ask a coach or psychotherapist for assistance.
People in power use humiliation as a form of social control; it is a common tool of oppression. The fear of humiliation is also a powerful motivating force.
