Having quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) — aka “high-functioning” BPD — means that you often direct thoughts and feelings inward rather than outward. As a result, you may experience the intense, turbulent thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that characterize BPD, but you try to hide them from others.
The main difference is that with quiet BPD, you internalize emotional struggles and episodes. While those with BPD have intense impulsivity, anger outbursts, and episodes of anxiety and depression that are obvious to those around them, turning anger inward is more typical with quiet BPD.
Signs and Symptoms of Quiet BPD
You have extreme mood swings that seem to come from nowhere. You hide your anger, sometimes to the point you don't know it when you are angry. You tend to blame yourself for things even when they are not your fault.
The main difference between classic BPD and quiet BPD is that a person with classic BPD externalises their emotions through explosive outbursts, whereas one with quiet BPD directs those outbursts inwards, hiding their suffering.
People with BPD see their favorite person as someone they can't live without. “People with BPD often find themselves placing their attention on one specific person. This person may be a friend, family member, or romantic partner.
While there are no specific causes that would result in quiet BPD vs. typical BPD, it's likely that one's personality or temperament influences how the disorder manifests in terms of outward symptoms or inward symptoms.
Some signs that a person is splitting include: idealizing someone one moment, then later calling them abusive or toxic. not seeing nuance in the relationships or actions of others. cutting people out of their life, then expressing feelings of abandonment.
With quiet BPD, you'll likely try to hide these symptoms from others, resulting in intense periods of anger, guilt, or shame directed toward yourself. You may hide impulsive behaviors or try to repress your moods. You might also withdraw or isolate from others.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
To evaluate crying behavior, we used a set of specially designed tools. Compared to non-patients, BPD patients showed the anticipated higher crying frequency despite a similar crying proneness and ways of dealing with tears.
Approach them very gently when they are in a stable mood. Don't specifically mention BPD if you can help it—just tell them their behavior is worrisome to you because you love them and want them to be happy. Offer your support every step of the way.
People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
The destructive and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep emotional pain. In other words, they're not about you. When your loved one does or says something hurtful towards you, understand that the behavior is motivated by the desire to stop the pain they are experiencing; it's rarely deliberate.
Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.
Psychotherapy is the standard treatment for BPD. Radically open dialectical behavioral therapy may be especially helpful for quiet BPD. Medication may also be prescribed. BPD is associated with increased rates of self-harm and suicidal behavior.
Living with quiet borderline personality disorder can be exhausting and incredibly debilitating. It can stop a person from being able to enjoy their everyday life, as they struggle to cope with the intense thoughts and emotions that they experience.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
People with bipolar disorder tend to experience mania and depression, while people with BPD experience intense emotional pain and feelings of emptiness, desperation, anger, hopelessness, and loneliness. Time: In BPD, mood changes are often more short-lived. They may last for only a few hours at a time.
Learn About Borderline Personality Disorder
Many individuals with BPD are highly intelligent and are aware that their reactions may seem strong. These individuals often report feeling that emotions control their lives or even that they feel things more intensely than other people.