Mirroring, or reflecting back what others say and do, is a common behavior that many of us engage in, often unconsciously, to create rapport and show feelings of connectedness with others.
If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, you may have found they “copy” your behaviors, and your identity becomes their identity. This would be an example of mirroring in narcissism.
Seasoned narcissists understand that shared traits build trust, which is why they imitate what you do. You may even notice your narc dresses just like you, wears similar makeup, or dyes their hair the same color. Some people find these behaviors flattering at first, but you should consider them red flags.
A sense of entitlement or a need for constant admiration within an individual with narcissistic tendencies could lead them to want to 'steal the limelight' over others in order to enhance their feeling of self-importance or superiority, therefore, if they notice other people receiving this admiration, they might look ...
Mirroring can also be used as a method of manipulation. As an illustration of the latter, mirroring is a technique often used by salespeople or public relations experts, or by others who are trying to persuade someone to join or support their cause.
It's a maladaptive way of creating safety in our connections with others by essentially mirroring the imagined expectations and desires of other people. Often times, it stems from traumatic experiences early on in life, as I described in last month's article.
Scientists have found that the brain responds to the sound of laughter and prepares the muscles in the face to also laugh. Other examples of mimicking behaviours include crossing your legs after someone you're sitting next to does so, or yawning after you see someone else yawn.
Indeed, their sense of self-esteem and self-worth depends on how others perceive them, and they tend to deny flaws in themselves and blame others for their own shortcomings, mistakes, and misfortunes. This is called projection, and people with narcissistic tendencies are projection-heavy individuals.
You have low self-esteem.
Certified trauma therapist Támara Hill tells mbg that "women who are struggling with their own self-esteem issues, including a history of abuse, trauma, bullying, or identity issues" tend to attract narcissists.
Narcissists tend to display exaggerated body language and facial expressions. The 1990 study on conversational narcissism also found that narcissists tend to be overly dramatic in their hand gestures and facial expressions. They may also speak in a loud tone of voice.
“If the other person's mirroring isn't leading you to a comfort zone, but instead leading you somewhere you don't want to be, that's a red flag.
Narcissists Use Projection To “Call You Out”
They'll call you out, for example, not having tea ready for them after a long day at work – even though you worked the same hours. This usually entails guilt-tripping. If that doesn't work, they'll escalate to verbally attacking you.
The narcissist is able to keep the empath in a cycle of emotional or physical abuse and continue to demoralize the empath and use them as the scapegoat for their own dysfunctional feelings. Empaths tend to internalize feelings and accept blame.
Narcissists tend to do lots of talking and very little listening. The narcissist knows best, after all, so why bother listening to what others have to say? Ever spoken with someone who responded dismissively to everything you said? Narcissists brush aside or deprecate what others say instead of truly listening.
Triangulation happens when one or both of the people involved in the conflict try to pull a third person into the dynamic, often with the goal of: deflecting some of the tension. creating another conflict to take the spotlight off the original issue. reinforcing their sense of rightness or superiority.
It's a phenomenon called the narcissistic abuse cycle. This cycle is broken down into three important phases: idealization, devaluation, and rejection. By understanding these key points, people who are struggling with narcissism or those who are in a relationship with a narcissist can get the help they need.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
Mirroring is an insidious form of manipulation used by narcissists, abusers, and dividers alike. It allows toxic partners to slip between the cracks and infiltrate our lives in deeply emotional ways. They idealize themselves (and us) by showing us only what we want to see — and then the trap is set.
The basic principle of mirroring is simple: Anyone who triggers judgment or emotion in you—a co-worker, your child, your spouse, terrorists, school shooters, thieves, liars, people of color, those who practice a specific religion, the guy who cuts you off in traffic, a rude waitress, or your sibling—reflects something ...
By adopting their mannerisms, repeating phrases or language patterns that they tend to use and mirroring their character traits, a person may attempt to appease a person. This defense mechanism was described by Anna Freud as identification with an aggressor.