Lap-sitting polyamory is the form of polyamory that this blog previously called "kitchen table polyamory with extras" - it's about polycules with extremely close metamour relationships, where metas may be close friends, occasionally romantically or sexually involved, or build platonic but closely logistically entwined ...
Garden Party Polyamory
Its name comes from the idea of people at a garden party – most of the people there are independent of each other, but they still have some level of connection or platonic relationship with each other's partners/lovers.
Anchor Partner: A partner who one regards as a central figure in one's life, a stable “rock” or “anchor” to lean on. Often used in non-hierarchical relationships for someone's equivalent(s) of a primary partner in a hierarchical setting.
(Of course, this is in addition to any other terms a person might use, such as "husband", "lover", "casual date", "friend", "other half", and so on.) Some polyamorous individuals avoid using "primary" / "secondary" descriptions, believing that all partners should be considered equally important.
Parallel polyamory refers to relationships in which you're aware of each other's other partners but have little no contact with those partners.
Open relationships differ from swinging, in which partners have sex with other people at parties and where the relationships are purely sexual. They also differ from polyamory, where partners can pursue more than one committed relationship at a time.
Kitchen Table Polyamory (KTP) refers to 'a style of polyamorous relationship in which the interrelationship of a network, and the integration of multiple romantic relationships into one life or group, is prioritised,' explains Jordan Dixon, a clinical sex and relationships psychotherapist.
Unicorn/Dragon:a bisexual, polyamorous woman/man who is open to forming a triad with an established couple; referred to as these mythical creatures because these type of partners are extremely rare. (Though some women/men openly use the term unicorn/dragon for themselves, it is frowned upon for couples to do so.
Some of the most common polyamory structures are: Polyfidelity. This is where the partners in a group agree not to have sexual or romantic relationships with people who are not in the group.
Solo polyamory means that someone has multiple intimate relationships with people but has an independent or single lifestyle. They may not live with partners, share finances, or have a desire to reach traditional relationship milestones in which partners' lives become more intertwined.
With a vee relationship, specifically, one partner is known as the "pivot" (or "hinge," "point," or "connector"), and the other two typically already “have a familiar or friendly connection…or purely physical connection. But they don't have a romantic interest in one another,” they add.
Taken as a whole, research on polyamorous relationships indicates that most CNM persons report being their happiest and healthiest with around 3-5 partners. The Loving More Survey of 2012 found that, among those actively engaged in CNM, the average number of sexual partners was just over five during the previous year.
In hierarchical polyamory, certain partners are considered to have priority over others. A person might have a “primary” partner and a “secondary” or even “tertiary” partner or partners. A primary partner is generally the partner one spends most of their time with, and may even live with or be married to.
On the face of it, swinging and polyam have a lot in common. They're both forms of consensual non-monogamy, and there is certainly overlap between people who practice polyamory and swinging.
ENM is an umbrella term for many types of relationship structures, and polyamory is just one way to practice it. Polyamory refers to having multiple romantic or intimate relationships at the same time, whereas ENM is any arrangement where people have multiple consensual romantic or sexual connections.
Ethical non-monogamy (ENM; sometimes also referred to as consensual non-monogamy) is the practice of being romantically involved with multiple people who are all aware of and agree to this relationship structure.
You have multiple crushes or romantic interests at any given point. If you've had crushes on multiple people since you were young and have trouble choosing between them (think Devi in "Never Have I Ever"), you might be polyamorous.
Some polyamorous relationships become “closed” and members engage in “polyfidelity.” This is when all members of a poly relationship agree not to seek romantic or sexual connections outside of the established relationship structure.
In the world of swinging and non-monogamous relationships, an upside down pineapple is often used to signal that a household or couple is open to exploring with others.
Rushing into it before your partner is ready, failing to set and adhere to boundaries, and not paying attention to your partner's feelings in the process are all huge red flags. An important thing to remember is that being polyamorous is not the same as being single.
In the vast majority of polyamorous relationships, jealousy does come up at some point.
The challenges with polyamory
Creating and maintaining multiple non-monogamous relationships is demanding, it takes organisation and excellent communication and time management skills in order for it to work and can consume huge amounts energy in order for it to stay working.
Polyamorous relationships are on the rise
A 'munch' is a casual social gathering for people who share specific relationships styles, kinks, or fetishes. They're friendly and informal and can be a great way to meet like-minded people. Many are advertised on 'meetup' sites.
Essentially, the spoons represent what GalaGirl might call one's buckets. If they are empty (or you run out of spoons) then you don't have the energy or ability to deal with life's difficulties as well.