Narcissistic mothers will frequently criticize and belittle her children, often focusing on their perceived flaws or failures. She may be overly critical of her child's appearance, asking them to wear more make-up, change clothes, or lose weight.
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
Narcissistic mothers often use shame, gaslighting, dismissal and manipulation in order to get their own needs met, which can leave their daughters feeling like their mother's behaviors were their fault.
She treats her children as extensions of her.
The narcissistic mother micromanages and exerts an excessive level of control over the way her children act and look to the public. Her children are objects and must be pristine and polished in every way, lest their reputation or appearance taint her own.
Children who grow up with a narcissistic parent tend to suffer from at least some of the following as children and as adults: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, self-doubt, self-blame, indecision, people-pleasing tendencies, difficulties with emotional intimacy, and codependent relationships.
The scapegoat is someone who must embody what the narcissistic parent cannot stand in themselves. By “finding” what they hate in themselves to be in the scapegoat child, the parent feels protected; this is the role of the scapegoat child.
They'll likely lash out in anger.
In response, they'll often fly into a narcissistic rage. It's totally unfair to you that they're acting this way, so try not to take it personally. Protect yourself by keeping your distance from this person. They might yell or call you names.
Narcissistic mothers flatter people they want to impress by giving them an inordinate amount of compliments, flattery, attention, money, gifts or time — while leaving their preferred abuse target feeling left out, estranged, alienated, disrespected, unloved, unwanted, and comprehensively feeling unappreciated; the game ...
A narcissistic mother might display traits like a lack of empathy, a constant need for admiration, and a tendency to belittle or manipulate her children. She may also neglect her child's needs, be overly controlling or critical, and use guilt or conditional love to maintain control.
The pain of being raised by a narcissistic mother can feel like death by a thousand paper cuts. It can be difficult to point to any one experience to convey the damage of chronic rejection, criticism, instability, and unrequited love.
The golden child is expected to be extraordinary at everything, not make mistakes, and essentially be “perfect.” Golden children are usually raised by narcissistic parents who are controlling and authoritarian.
A golden child's sense of self and their personal boundaries are erased, as their own sense of identity is replaced with the need to live up to their role. Their behaviors and beliefs reflect what their parent expects of them, and they may feel incapable of individuation even in adulthood.
That said, the six faces of maternal narcissism are identified as: the flamboyant-extrovert, the accomplishment-oriented, the psychosomatic, the addicted, the secretly mean, and the emotionally needy. A parent can be a mixture of these types and often that is the case.
Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment. If the narcissist uses the silent treatment to deflect responsibility for something they have done wrong, it can also be a form of narcissistic gaslighting.
A narcissistic mother may perceive her daughter as a threat. When a mother envies and then criticizes and devalues her daughter, she diminishes the threat to her own fragile self-esteem. As a daughter analyzes what her mother appears to be jealous about, she comes to feel unworthy.
They physically abuse pets.
If a narcissist's dog has urinated on the carpet while the narcissist was out, the narcissist sees it as a personal affront—even though the narcissist left the dog alone for 12 hours. The narcissist then hits the dog and calls it names. The dog learns to fear the narcissist.
Parents who are high in narcissism tend to assign roles to their children including "golden child," "scapegoat," and "lost child." A narcissist's "lost child" may be physically and emotionally neglected.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
People with NPD have a grandiose sense of self. They typically feel like they're important — and often more important than others. They commonly seek out attention and aim to be the center of everyone's attention, often putting themselves before others. But at its core, NPD is defined by a lack of empathy for others.