Well, in a nutshell, it's when two people are communicating in a playful way with each other, creating tension, energy, and excitement—and an important note is that it should be enjoyable for BOTH people. Unfortunately, we're not all natural born flirts.
They draw the line: Natural flirts know when and where to stop. They will not lead someone on unnecessarily or give them the wrong idea about their real feelings and cause heartache or heartbreak, neither will they come on too strong and make you want to run for your dear life.
Flirting that suggests romantic interest appears to be key; showing sweetness, tenderness, and strong interest is one way that differentiates flirting that works from flirting that doesn't. Women value flirtation that shows strong interest in them more than men. Show courage and determination.
You can flirt with your eyes, your words, your texts, and even your body language. But not everyone is flirting sexually because they're looking for love. Some people flirt for personal gain or amusement, while others are natural flirts who do it just for fun.
Two people who flirt often will likely have a rhythm to their interactions; it's like a routine. This type of play has underlying and unsaid boundaries that maintain a friendly feel. If her flirting suddenly becomes more intense, however, it could indicate deeper feelings.
“We all know someone who is friendly, easily talks to anyone, and has a way of leaving an interaction with the other person feeling extra good about themselves — this is an example of innocent flirtation,” Kotlarski indicates. “It is really about the intent behind the interaction.”
They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex, but it often means they wish for more quality time with you).
Make eye contact with him.
Even if you're shy, try extra hard to look into his eyes while you're speaking with him. This will show that you're engaged and really listening to what he has to say. Listening to him, and showing that you're interested, is an easy way to flirt without making it extremely obvious.
Playful: Seeing the goal of flirting as fun (rather than trying to start a relationship) and just having a good time laughing, joking, and teasing.
Subtle, flirtatious gestures are powerful signals of attraction. As you flirt with your crush, you can use self-touch, body posture, and other flirtatious gestures to show your interest. However, keep in mind that the gestures you use may be different depending on your gender.
Focus on doing something else with your hands during conversations so you will not seem like you're flirting. For example, you could keep your hands in your pockets, cross your arms over your chest, or hold something in your hands, such as your bag or a cup of coffee, to avoid making flirtatious gestures.
Catch his eye by looking around the room, dancing, moving closer, or flipping your hair. When you get his attention, look at him and smile. As he approaches, show that you are receptive by nodding or tilting your head. Once a man approaches, flirting becomes more about leaning in close, laughing, and touching.
Jeffery Hall, an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, and colleagues found five main styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere, and playful.
Sincere. This is the most common flirting style, and that's probably for the best. Sincere flirts are direct and honest in their interest, and they aim to build emotional connections from the beginning.
Harmless Flirting
This can mean buying a drink in a social setting, freely giving compliments, side arm hugs or other non-sexual touches, a platonic friendship. The term “harmless” is only applicable if you are willing to disclose this behavior (without shame or concern) to your partner.
Most people want to have a cordial relationship with their co-workers, and, in many organizations, informality can help foster a sense of teamwork. But it's very easy for informal banter to cross the line into flirting, or to be perceived as such, even when that isn't the original intent.
Flirting crosses the line when the actions becomes covert or so emotionally connected that you pursue said behavior over furthering your committed relationship.
Most of the time it's tough to know if someone is flirting with you because they have to be subtle. They can't be too obvious because if the feeling isn't mutual it can be pretty embarrassing. It's also tough to detect if someone is flirting because most of the time it's someone you don't know very well.