A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions. When something happens in a relationship that makes them feel abandoned, criticized, or rejected, their symptoms are expressed.
Their emotions are extremely intense, which can lead to episodes of depression, anxiety or anger that may persist for days or even weeks. They may also be consumed with an intense fear of abandonment, but at the same time, may engage in impulsive behaviors and have mood swings that push others away.
Common triggers of BPD rage can include: Emotionally challenging situations that seem threatening. Situations where the person fears abandonment. BPD splitting, which is a type of black-and-white thinking where people see things as either all-good or all-bad.
Fears like “Will my husband abandon me?” or “Do my friends actually like me, or do they just tolerate me?” can plague people with BPD to the point that it disrupts daily functioning. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.
Maintaining a relationship with a friend or family member with BPD can be difficult. However, it's important to understand that people with BPD often engage in destructive behaviors not because they intend to hurt you but because their suffering is so intense that they feel they have no other way to survive.
It is important to remember that while having a relationship with a person with BPD can be challenging, they are not intentionally trying to hurt you. Rather, they lack the ability to understand and cope with their emotional pain, which causes them to act in ways that hurt others.
Someone with BPD might also push someone away in order to “test” whether the person will stay with them or come back to them after being pushed away.
Relationships. Relationships are one of the most common triggers for people with BPD. People with the disorder tend to experience a higher than usual sensitivity to being abandoned by their loved ones. This leads to feelings of intense fear and anger.
It's easy for teens and adolescents with borderline personality disorder (BPD) to feel like they are the victims of a very cruel curse. This personality disorder is often characterized by an intense fear of abandonment, unstable relationships and impulsive behavior that ultimately drives people away.
Saying "Stop over-reacting" or "I don't understand you" invalidates a complex inner experience and can create more defensive volatility in BPD. Acknowledging the space they are in and asking to return to it later can have better outcomes when you're both in a better place.
They may try to bait you into anger, then falsely accuse you of rejecting them, make you doubt reality and your sanity. It's not unusual for them to cut off friends and relatives who they feel have betrayed them.
They typically endure frequent intense negative emotions and are unable to manage these strong feelings. This emotional rollercoaster can distort how they interpret the world around them. As such, someone with BPD can be easily angered and act viciously when confronted with something they view as “threatening”.
The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age. If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better over time with treatment and can learn to live satisfying lives.
Lying is a characteristic often linked to such emotions, as people with Borderline Personality Disorder are highly sensitive to perceived rejection by others, and therefore they lie to avoid upsetting and alienating those close to them,” says Ellen Golding, MFT.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is one of the most damaging mental illnesses. By itself, this severe mental illness accounts for up to 10 percent of patients in psychiatric care and 20 percent of those who have to be hospitalized.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
A fear of abandonment is central to BPD. That can present obvious problems in a relationship, especially when you're just getting to know someone and have no idea where things are heading. Unfortunately, intense fear can lead to your partner being clingy or making unreasonable demands on your time.
Because of their overall pessimistic demeanor, they can easily feel slighted and may express this aggressively or hold it in and build resentment. Those with this type of BPD tend to view people in “black and white” terms (known as BPD splitting), so they are likely to hold onto a grudge after feeling insulted.
People with BPD often engage in self-sabotaging behavior. This can include: Oversharing.
Loneliness may be common with BPD, but it's not impossible to overcome. There are many strategies you can use to feel less alone, such as joining a support group, taking classes, caring for an animal, and finding new ways to communicate with your loved ones. You may also want to consider engaging in therapy.
Show confidence and respect.
It is important that support people approach the relationship in a way that promotes trust and respect, which can be helpful and healing to a person with BPD. Although you may feel you know what is best, provide the person with BPD the opportunity to make decisions for themselves.
An fMRI study done by the University of Georgia found that people with BPD traits had reduced activity in the specific brain regions that support empathy.