The flying monkey lives to serve the narcissist. So when you are ignoring them, and their job is to get as much intel from you as possible, they fail the narcissistic leader in their life. When you ignore the flying monkey, you are legit taking away their purpose. You are taking away their meaning for living.
They will have a violent, excessive, and disorderly reaction to the rejection. In a nutshell, they want and will try to create a scene. Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled.
Ignoring a narcissist may result in them trying to get your attention through various means, including apologizing and begging for forgiveness or smearing you to others. If you want a narcissist to go away, you must ignore them consistently and permanently, or they will likely try to hoover you back into their life.
Grey rock — show no emotion and give the flying monkeys little to work with. Be willing to walk away if you feel yourself getting emotional in the face of the abuse. Surround yourself with the types of people who can help you. Document everything.
When you ignore the flying monkey, you are legit taking away their purpose. You are taking away their meaning for living. Just as No Contact destroys narcissists, so does ignoring the flying monkey. It is important to learn how to not “see” or “acknowledge” these people, even if they are in your presence.
When the narcissist wants to evoke some punishment on a target they dispatch their henchmen (aka flying monkeys) to do their bidding. Unfortunately, this can and often does include abusive behavior such as guilt-tripping, twisting the truth, gaslighting, assaults, threats, and violence.
The flying monkey may use gaslighting tactics, open aggression, and guilt-tripping in order to make another person feel bad and weak, whilst shoring up the narcissist. And they're often involved in pleading the case of the narcissist.
They are designed to isolate, discredit, and silence the person that the narcissist is abusing. Flying monkeys are a tool that narcissists use to intensify the anguish of narcissistic abuse.
Researchers identified several reasons why people become flying monkeys to narcissists. These involve: A need for self-preservation and protection – this often happens when a flying monkey is afraid or intimidated by the narcissist and would rather be on the ”good side” of the narc rather than go against them.
The best way to deal with a narcissist is to ignore them. By doing this, you take away their power and control. Narcissists thrive on attention and need constant validation. If you can learn to ignore them, they will eventually get the message that you're not going to put up with their behavior and move on.
If they're really incapable of controlling themselves, they may even threaten you. This is why it's generally not a good idea to let a narcissist know you're going to block them ahead of time. Avoid the confrontation by just blocking their number and social media accounts and move on.
React with empathy and respect.
A narcissist thrives on conflict, and will take control of the conversation as soon as you get defensive or try to fight back. Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down.
You should never use the silent treatment on a narcissist because it is an emotionally stunted and immature form of stonewalling that narcissists use when they experience a narcissistic injury.
Narcissistic silent treatment is when a narcissist ignores and avoids interacting with you to punish, control, or communicate that they are unhappy with you. It's a form of manipulation, and this toxic behavior can negatively impact the victim psychologically and emotionally.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
In hindsight, some flying monkeys begin to realize they were a participant in a target's abuse when the narcissist's true colors are revealed. Unfortunately, there will always be some flying monkeys who know this from the beginning but do not care due to their own pathology and motivations.
FLYING MONKEY is a popular psychology term that refers to an enabler of a highly narcissistic person or someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). A flying monkey is an agent who acts on their behalf.
Eventually flying monkeys will see the truth because they're simply a tool a narcissist uses to temporarily protect their fragile ego. Once the flying monkey has served their purpose, the narcissist will discard them as they do everyone else.
Narcissists are frightened, fragile people.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image.
Those who become the narc's flying monkey usually love drama and have issues with integrity or a jealousy towards you when it comes to success, looks, or even money.
Another is that once a covert narcissist has received the empty approval they crave from the people around them, they will lose interest and become bored. In fact, boredom is just one of many unpleasant side-effects to keeping narcissism bottled up.
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel. But..do not insert anything about how the situation makes you feel, or anything about you at all unless it is an apology.