When we don't forgive and experience symptoms of sadness, depression or anxiety the serotonin levels in our brain are lower than they should be which can also lead to other issues such as obsessive thinking.
To not hurt people is the right thing to do too, but some still do it. Don't confuse this with ego or stubbornness; no, the unwillingness to forgive can also speak to more confident, sacred feelings of self-worth. Plus, you can still move on and “heal” without letting people back into your life.
Unforgiveness is linked to higher incidences of stress, heart disease, high blood pressure, lowered immune response, anxiety, depression, and other health issues according to a Johns Hopkins study. Broken relationships affect us deeply, especially when bitterness sets in.
By refusing to forgive someone, you may be holding on to all the anger and pain that their actions might have created. This can take an emotional and physical toll. According to a 2016 study , practicing forgiveness might help reduce stress, anxiety, and the likelihood of depression.
According to Matthew 6:14-15, a person who doesn't forgive others will not be forgiven by God. In the verses, Jesus states: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
“Toxic forgiveness” refers to forgiving someone when you still feel hurt or haven't gotten closure, explains the story. This can cause trauma or even erode your mental health. But Enright says the whole idea that forgiveness could be toxic is a “misunderstanding of what forgiving another person actually is.”
This pain can leave behind emotional wounds of rejection, fear, betrayal, and insecurity. Just as a physical wound becomes infected if left unattended, so an emotional wound can become contaminated with feelings of resentment, bitterness, and revenge without the healing of forgiveness.
One eternal or unforgivable sin (blasphemy against the Holy Spirit), also known as the sin unto death, is specified in several passages of the Synoptic Gospels, including Mark 3:28–29, Matthew 12:31–32, and Luke 12:10, as well as other New Testament passages including Hebrews 6:4–6, Hebrews 10:26–31, and 1 John 5:16.
An unforgiving spirit not only fails to solve anything, but it acts like a poison on our souls. You cannot harbor anger and bitterness in your heart without bringing great harm to yourself. The Bible warns, “See to it... that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15).
Too many people refuse to forgive because they believe the person who hurt them needs to suffer more. They confuse justice with healing. Justice is something that should be addressed in the courtroom. It doesn't work when we apply judicial parameters to our own individual healing.
If forgiving someone guarantees that they're back in your life, and if that puts those around you (like your children or family) at risk. If that person pressures you to partake in negative behaviors, for example, drinking if you're sober. If that person doesn't respect your boundaries.
Shameful experiences: bringing up old hurting that can seem shameful for ourselves, often stop us from forgiving others. Lose upper hand: Not forgiving someone for what they did and keeping on punishing them gives us the feeling of having the upper hand.
In the parable, the unforgiving servant was sent away to be tortured until he could repay the debt, even though it was clear he would never be able to repay it. The implication is clear - his punishment for not forgiving his fellow servant was death.
God evidently doesn't hold a grudge, since he tasked this former hunter of Christians with spreading the gospel. Sometimes we walk into church and pray, “Lord, forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Then we head home, still bearing our grudges.
Matthew 6:15
“But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
"If you say something like 'Oh my God,' then you're using His name in vain, but if you're saying something like OMG it's not really using the Lord's name in vain because you're not saying 'Oh my God.
You enter heaven by forgiveness and through the righteousness that Jesus gives you. You do not enter into heaven by the Christian life. It's always true that where faith is birthed, works will follow, but salvation is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone.
You may have felt like your sins are too serious or that you have made the same mistake too many times. But no matter how much we have sinned, we can always repent and be forgiven. Some sins may be easier to correct than others, but Jesus Christ has provided for total forgiveness from all sins. He is eager to forgive.
If you are struggling with unforgiveness, you may experience bursts of anger, become petty and impulsive, feel the need to make the person understand your pain, engage in compulsive behavior, be unable to reframe your experiences, and blame others for your feelings.
Two Weaknesses of Forgiving: It Victimizes and Stops Justice.
In my book, The Language of Love and Respect, I address these issues specifically in the Appendix entitled "Forgiving - but also Confronting - the Three A's: Adultery, Abuse, and Addiction." Also in this book, I include a chapter on Good Will vs Evil Will, and Forgiveness.
A conciliatory attitude is much easier for everyone to deal with than a hostile, defensive one. Practice maintaining an attitude of love and acceptance. This doesn't mean you agree with the person who has hurt you or with what he or she has done. Rather, you have chosen to respond in a certain, predetermined way.
It can help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Sometimes, forgiveness might even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you.
Forgiving others does not mean condoning that behavior, encouraging that behavior, or just letting someone off the hook. Forgiveness means acknowledging what has happened but not allowing yourself to hold onto a grudge, which may cause you immeasurable physical and emotional pain.
Jesus teaches us in Matthew 6:14-15 to pray, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Just as God forgives us by offering grace and mercy, we must also forgive those who have caused us harm.