The negative consequences of not forgiving has been documented in studies that show that it can lead to emotional pain of anger, hate, hurt, resentment, bitterness and so on and as a consequence can create health issues, affect relationships and stop us from experiencing the freedom that forgiveness enables.
Unforgiveness will imprison you in your past.
Unforgiveness keeps that pain alive. Unforgiveness never lets that wound heal, and you go through life reminding yourself of what was done to you, stirring up that pain and making yourself progressively angrier. You go through life accumulating bad feelings.
Definitions of unforgiving. adjective. unwilling or unable to forgive or show mercy. “a surly unforgiving old woman” Synonyms: revengeful, vengeful, vindictive.
To not hurt people is the right thing to do too, but some still do it. Don't confuse this with ego or stubbornness; no, the unwillingness to forgive can also speak to more confident, sacred feelings of self-worth. Plus, you can still move on and “heal” without letting people back into your life.
According to Matthew 6:14-15, a person who doesn't forgive others will not be forgiven by God. In the verses, Jesus states: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
In simple terms, the difference between acceptance and forgiveness is that forgiveness means letting go of the past. It allows you to move forward. Acceptance means you're not going to let the past define who you are now.
Matt. 6:14 “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matt. 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
Too many people refuse to forgive because they believe the person who hurt them needs to suffer more. They confuse justice with healing. Justice is something that should be addressed in the courtroom. It doesn't work when we apply judicial parameters to our own individual healing.
Forgiveness can be good for your health, but that doesn't mean you're obligated to do it and it doesn't mean it it's the only way to heal. In fact, it is completely possible to move on or heal from trauma without forgiving someone. Forcing yourself to forgive can be even more harmful. Forgiveness is not justice.
Okay to hurt: Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean opening ourselves up for hurting again. But that's not how most people think. They think that if they forgive someone, they can hurt them again. Shameful experiences: bringing up old hurting that can seem shameful for ourselves, often stop us from forgiving others.
This pain can leave behind emotional wounds of rejection, fear, betrayal, and insecurity. Just as a physical wound becomes infected if left unattended, so an emotional wound can become contaminated with feelings of resentment, bitterness, and revenge without the healing of forgiveness.
An unforgiving person doesn't overlook anything. They know exactly what was done to them, when it was done to them, what time it was done to them and what they were wearing when it was done to them. They can tell you in extreme detail what offended them up to 40 years later.
If forgiving someone guarantees that they're back in your life, and if that puts those around you (like your children or family) at risk. If that person pressures you to partake in negative behaviors, for example, drinking if you're sober. If that person doesn't respect your boundaries.
Therefore I tell you, people will be forgiven for every sin and blasphemy, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come."
Is it possible to love someone you cannot forgive? Short answer yes. Love is a tricky thing even when hurt or upset the love doesn't always go away or stop immediately. Understanding why you are hurt or upset is the key to keeping the love around.
It can help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Sometimes, forgiveness might even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you.
Forgiving helps you move forward on your spiritual path.
Forgiveness encourages compassion. You are able to relate to others as part of the human experience. You feel for others as you do for yourself. Emotionally and psychologically unencumbered, you can begin to put the past behind you.
You cannot harbor anger and bitterness in your heart without bringing great harm to yourself. The Bible warns, “See to it... that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15). How can we forgive those who have hurt us?
In the parable, the unforgiving servant was sent away to be tortured until he could repay the debt, even though it was clear he would never be able to repay it. The implication is clear - his punishment for not forgiving his fellow servant was death.
Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. ' " “You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.” “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Forgiving someone who hurt you does NOT mean that you trust them again. You might never even speak to them again, but you can still forgive them. In this way, you don't need to hold the fear that they'll take advantage of you again if you forgive them.
In a word – absolutely! Forgiveness is the foundation that must be laid in order to journey toward healing. When we forgive someone, instant healing doesn't come (especially when the hurt causes deep emotional wounds). Once forgiveness takes place, we can choose to be intentional in the healing process.
Holding on to anger and resentment isn't good for mental health. Forgiveness can help you let go of emotional pain and jump-start healing.