Grey rocking is a technique used to divert a toxic person's behavior by acting as unresponsive as possible when you're interacting with them. For example, using the grey rock method involves deliberate actions like avoiding eye contact or not showing emotions during a conversation.
People with NPD may use others as a source of attention, manipulating them to get a specific reaction that bolsters their ego. The idea behind grey rocking is that it will, in theory, cut off a person's “narcissistic supply” and cause them to lose interest in their target.
It involves adding some niceties to gray rock communication. Its name comes from the idea that a yellow rock appears friendlier, warmer and more inviting than a gray rock. However, it is still ultimately gray rock and unlikely to hold a narcissist's interest for a prolonged period.
Grey Rocking vs.
On the other hand, stonewalling is an emotional reaction, where you shut down emotionally and give someone the “silent treatment.” Stonewalling is usually considered a kind of emotional manipulation, whereas the grey rock method is a method used to deal with someone who employs emotional manipulation.
One of the most common signs of a narcissist is a constant need for praise or admiration. People with this behavior need to feel validation from others and often brag or exaggerate their accomplishments for recognition. They also like to feel appreciated to boost their ego.
They have a sense of entitlement and expect favorable treatment. They take advantage of others to achieve their goals. They lack empathy and don't try to identify with the needs of others. They envy others or believe others envy them.
The grey rock method is an approach you can use to disarm manipulative behavior. The technique is simple: Rather than let a person's narcissism or toxicity get under your skin, disengage from them. Keep interactions to a minimum, stay as neutral as possible, and remove yourself from the situation fast.
Let's say the person you're grey rocking is trying to coax a reaction from you. In this case, you can use techniques like breathwork to stay grounded and not respond in an emotional way. Limiting eye contact is another way to disengage. That's because eye contact plays an important role in communication.
Examples of Silent Treatment
They may blame themselves by thinking that they did something wrong, or they may simply feel frustrated that their partner doesnt want to communicate openly with them.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
Beyond the desire to focus primarily on themselves and be held in high regard by virtually everyone in their lives, people with malignant narcissism tend to have a darker side to their self-absorption. These individuals can be highly manipulative and don't care who they hurt as long as they get their own way.
An ex-friend with toxic behaviors is trying to instigate an argument. A manipulative coworker begins to show signs of sexual misconduct and/or harassment. A narcissistic friend threatens physical abuse if you continue to distance yourself from them. A toxic boss is threatening and makes you feel unsafe.
Grey rocking often involves behaviors like:
Shrugging and nodding. Using noncommittal phrases and responses like “eh,” “mhm,” or “uh-huh” Avoiding eye contact. Responding briefly, and without elaboration, to direct questions.
Narcissists are fully aware that they are narcissistic and have a reputation as such. Narcissists would rather be admired than liked. Narcissists are masters at making first impressions, leading them to do better with short-term relationships.
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel. But..do not insert anything about how the situation makes you feel, or anything about you at all unless it is an apology.
Generally, narcissists are very frugal with their money and defensive with it. When it comes to their possessions, they don't give them freely. There is, however, more to this greed than self-preservation. Due to their lack of empathy, narcissists may not understand the benefits of sharing their resources.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.