Fawning as a trauma response means using excessive people-pleasing, agreeableness, and appeasement to survive perceived threats, often by merging with an aggressor's desires to avoid conflict, abandonment, or abuse, especially after childhood trauma. It's a coping mechanism where individuals abandon their own needs, feelings, and boundaries to keep others (especially abusers) happy and safe, looking like kindness but actually being a survival tactic.
Childhood abuse: Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse experienced during childhood can lead to the development of fawning to appease the abuser to avoid further harm.
Some traits of fawning include:
The belief is emotions and traumatic experiences can become trapped in the body, and somatic therapy helps release this pent-up tension and emotions. Somatic therapy uses body awareness, breathwork and movement exercises to be more aware of bodily sensations and release stored emotions.
Signs You May Be Stuck in the Fawn Response
Generally, autistic folks are highly sensitive, which means they're sometimes more easily triggered into trauma responses like fawning than non-autistic people would be. We also tend to feel things extremely deeply and intensely, and we struggle to mask or hide our natural reactions during those times.
Trauma Signs and Symptoms
Because our nervous system and brain can hold onto painful and traumatic events, chronic pain can be very real and present even after the physical injury has healed.
But in my experience, emotional healing happens in seven stages: awareness, acceptance, processing, release, growth, integration, and transformation. We don't move through these seven stages in a straight line, but we do pass through them all eventually on the path to healing.
Unless the practitioner has the appropriate psychiatric training, TRE® should not be used with those who have any of the following diagnoses: bipolar conditions. borderline personality disorder. epilepsy.
“For trauma survivors, especially those who've experienced neglect or emotional invalidation, oversharing can feel like a fast-track to safety or intimacy — even if it bypasses healthy relationship pacing.” Figueroa adds that you might also overshare intimate details to avoid feeling rejected or unseen.
Childhood Trauma
Many people-pleasers grew up in environments where they felt unsafe, emotionally neglected, or overly criticized. People-pleasing became a way to secure safety, approval, or affection.
It won't rid you of PTSD and your fears, but let your tears flow and you'll maybe feel a little better afterwards. 'Crying for long periods of time releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, otherwise known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals can help ease both physical and emotional pain.
To manage and overcome fawning, individuals can practice setting healthy boundaries, cultivate self-compassion, and seek professional trauma-informed therapy. Recognizing fawning as a survival mechanism empowers individuals to take proactive steps toward healing and prioritizing their well-being.
Smiling or laughing when disclosing trauma can be an indicator of shame. Some trauma survivors hold deeply entrenched feelings of self-blame and other distorted and inaccurate thoughts about the role they believe they played in their abuse.
A person with trauma may vacillate between idealizing and vilifying their partners or may even confuse their partner with the “enemy.” She or he may use criticism to push the partner away. People with trauma often find it very difficult to take in the positives of their partner's fondness, love, and admiration.
Physical Sensations
Tremors or Shaking: These involuntary movements can occur as the body releases stored energy associated with traumatic experiences. Tingling or Warmth: You may feel tingling sensations or warmth in certain areas of your body as trauma is processed and released.
The “90-second rule,” introduced by Harvard neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, reveals that an emotional surge in the body lasts only about 90 seconds—unless we mentally keep it alive.
Can I heal from childhood trauma without therapy? While professional support is recommended, self-healing strategies like mindfulness, journaling, creative expression, and physical practices can support recovery.
Understanding Grief Trauma and Its Impact on the Body
Trauma can get stored deep in your muscles, in your breath, and even in the way your heart beats. And over time, if that grief isn't released, it can start to affect your body in ways you might not expect.
Emotional Trauma Symptoms
Psychological Concerns: Anxiety and panic attacks, fear, anger, irritability, obsessions and compulsions, shock and disbelief, emotional numbing and detachment, depression, shame and guilt (especially if the person dealing with the trauma survived while others didn't)
While all traumas leave a profound mark on an individual's life, there's a different level of difficulty in recovering from what's called "complex trauma." Unlike single-incident traumas, complex trauma stems from repeated experiences of stressful and traumatic events, usually in environments where there's no escape.
Things Never to Say to Trauma Survivors
Symptoms of Unhealed Trauma