According to Lapa, experiencing narcissistic collapse may feel similar to experiencing an episode of depression. The difference is that a person with NPD typically isn't able to reflect on or recognize their role in the situation. This is a common symptom of a narcissistic personality.
Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem. Depending on the type of narcissist, collapse may look different and happen more frequently.
While most narcissistic collapses tend to be a temporary thing, there are some that can last for years — even to the end of one's life.
Narcissistic Collapse
By the time they hit their 50s and 60s, most narcissistic people start to lose friends and have less influence. Health rapidly declines. This happens when they can no longer manage to maintain the charade, or the gap between their false and true self.
Individuals who are in recovery after a relationship with a narcissistic partner describe feelings of confusion, procrastination, low self-esteem, fear of failure, and worthlessness. A narcissistic abuser may use financial abuse to keep the victim trapped in the relationship.
Signs and Symptoms of PTSD
Difficulty sleeping or concentrating. Nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts. Hyper-awareness, vigilance, anger, and irritability. Misplaced sense of blame, low self-worth.
A narcissist may have a breakdown if their supply is cut off and they feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or out of control. Narcissistic breakdown symptoms can include rage, impulsive behaviors, or other ways of showcasing intense mental suffering.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8.
“A collapse can also be triggered as a self-defense technique if they feel their self-image or self-esteem is being threatened,” explains Lapa. For example, perhaps they've been exposed for doing something unethical or engaging in a narcissistic manipulation game.
Drinking alcohol lowers inhibitions and can increase other narcissist behaviors including self-absorption, denial, illusions of grandeur, and destructiveness. These behaviors can lead to poor choices, including drinking and driving or excessive consumption, which can be fatal.
Suicidal thoughts or behaviors: A narcissist may feel suicidal following a narcissistic rage outburst if they are overwhelmed by shame. They may also make threats of self-harm as a manipulation tactic.
A person experiencing a narcissistic collapse may engage in impulsive, risky behaviors such as excessive drinking or substance abuse, unprotected sex, rage outbursts, or self-harm.
Most recent theories have focused on the link between narcissism and negative childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual violence, neglect, or rejection [10,11].
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
The tactic includes limiting emotional responses, avoiding eye contact, and removing yourself from situations whenever it's possible to do so. The theory is that when a toxic person sees you as a boring, uninteresting, grey rock, they may eventually lose interest.
Here are some drawbacks of the grey rock technique:
Narcissists and other manipulative individuals who thrive on conflict may become frustrated when they find others “going grey rock” on them.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
Some effects of narcissistic abuse include: High levels of shame or feeling inadequate, unworthy, or “not good enough” Excessive self-doubt and difficulty making decisions independently. Codependency or putting other people's feelings and needs before your own.
You experience dissociation as a survival mechanism.
You feel emotionally or even physically detached from your environment, experiencing disruptions in your memory, perceptions, consciousness and sense of self.
Signs of Trauma Bonding
You agree with the reasons the abusive person outlines for why they treat you the way they do. You might try to cover for the domestic abuse experience because of feelings of attachment. If someone tries to help you, like your friends or family members, you might withdraw from them.