Divorced men often undergo severe emotional turmoil. They may feel angry at one time and sad or depressed the next. They also suffer from regret, loneliness, disappointment, denial, and guilt. Such strong emotions often take a toll on their mental health.
Individuals may go through several stages of mourning or grief. The emotional intensity of this period usually reaches a peak within the first six months of separation. However, the grieving process may take as long as two years.
Divorce is often one of the most stressful events you'll ever experience. It throws your entire life into upheaval in one go. It's common for men to experience bouts of post-divorce depression. Everyone faces these risks, both men and women.
Men deal with a lot of issues stemming from divorce. They deal with financial issues, the loss of a relationship, the loss of their identity, and much more. Because they get no support, men feel overwhelmed. The excessive stress causes health issues.
After a divorce, it's easy for guys to let themselves become isolated, especially if the ex gets custody of the kids. That's another big mistake. It can worsen feelings of depression, guilt, and loneliness, a potentially dangerous mix. Divorced men are twice as likely to commit suicide as married men.
When a man is going through a divorce, he's losing the woman who was supposed to be his soulmate, his lifelong partner, so it's natural for him to grieve the loss. When men try to bury their feelings and skip the grieving period, naturally, they still “feel” the loss.
And while media often shows men finding relief after “escaping the bear trap” of a bad marriage, and casts women in a desperate, “washed-up” light, research continues to show that women often report being happier after divorce.
Dating a Divorced Man Red Flags
The bad mouth: If someone is constantly trashing their ex, it's doubtful that they're emotionally ready for a new relationship. Unresolved hurt and anger block the heart. It will be hard for them to love again until they face their issues and heal.
Sometimes divorce is necessary, but other times it can be avoided if both parties desire to save their marriage. In a study done by Pennsylvania State University, the top reasons men listed for divorce was incompatibility, infidelity, lack of communication and personality problems.
Anger: The feeling of helplessness (whether it be toward the divorce because it is your spouse that wants it or toward your spouse, who you can't force to accept it) often fuels anger. People experiencing this stage will often be aggressive and blame their spouse, other family members, or circumstances on the divorce.
Men face increased risk of post-divorce depression
Studies have found a greatly increased risk of depression for those going through divorce, which is even more of a problem for men who are nearly twice as likely to suffer from post-divorce depression as women.
Absolutely—life after a divorce can be full of more love than ever. A divorced man is likely going through a difficult and confusing time, but rest assured that it won't stay that way forever.
It's normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.
They want to be loved, they want to be treated with kindness, they want to feel appreciated, and they want to feel like they are still capable of being in a healthy relationship. All that said, they don't want to be smothered. They don't want a needy woman who is demanding.
According to a survey, 39% of men regret being divorced. But it is not as simple as it seems. This statistic has many layers to it – for example, a man who has committed marital wrongdoing that triggered the divorce may regret the event, but a man who has been wronged during the marriage may not regret it.
A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And the percentage of college-educated American women who initiated divorce is even higher.
The recent Annual Relationship, Marriage, and Divorce Survey conducted by Avvo online marketplace for legal services found that men are more likely to regret breaking up than women. Of the 254 divorced women surveyed, only 27% said they regretted their divorce.
Understanding the Divorced Man
Divorce is a traumatic event that often leads to emotional distress, and the effects can last for years. As a result, divorced men may have trust issues, emotional baggage, and insecurities that can impact their relationships.
One of the disadvantages of dating a divorced man is that he may have emotional baggage from his past relationship. He may have trust issues, fear of commitment, or unresolved feelings that can affect his current relationship.
Shame is one of the most toxic emotions associated with divorce. And people feel it for all sorts of reasons. Some people feel shame for “failing” at their marriages or putting on a brave face for too long. Others feel shame for being unfaithful, or for having a partner that was unfaithful to them.
Men Are More Likely to Remarry
The rate for women was significantly lower, at only 19.4 per 1,000 women eligible for remarriage. This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women.
While some may be happier after a divorce, research indicates most adults that divorce have lower levels of happiness and more psychological distress compared to married individuals. Divorce can bring up new conflicts between couples that cause more tension than when they were married.