It is important that you are supportive in your words. Saying things like “I'm here for you.” or “It's okay to be scared.” or asking questions like “Is there something that helps calm you?” can be very meaningful.
In the context of death anxiety, exposure exercises include reading obituaries in the newspaper, reading literary accounts of death and loss, writing a will, planning funeral arrangements, imagining one's own imminent death (e.g., news of being diagnosed with a terminal illness), and writing one's own eulogy.
Avoid talking in an overly optimistic way, for example, “You'll be up in no time”. Such comments block the possibility of discussing how they're really feeling – their anger, fears, faith and so on. Apologise if you think you've said the wrong thing. Let them know if you feel uncomfortable.
The importance of relationships led Dr. Byock to conclude that patients who came to positive life closure, were not afraid to say these four important phrases to those they loved: 'Please forgive me,' 'I forgive you,' 'Thank you,' and 'I love you. ' It is that simple BUT it is not easy.
Give them a little bit of breathing room and just quietly let them know you're there for them and not demanding any big “comeback” or sudden return to normal. Having a close brush with your mortality can really shake you and those who've come close to the edge know what I'm talking about.
It can be hard to know what to say to someone who is dying. In general, you should avoid saying things like "You'll be fine" or other phrases that give false reassurance. Remember, too, that it is okay to say nothing at all and just be present.
Talking therapies, behaviour therapies, and medication can help a person overcome their death anxiety. Some of the common therapies for fear of death include: Psychotherapy: Talking about your thoughts, feelings, and fears with a mental health professional can help you get to the root cause of the phobia.
Death is a natural part of life, and it's normal to think about it from time to time. But it's very common for people experiencing mental illness to think about death more than usual.
Focus on staying healthy
The fear of death is irrational, according to Lucretius, because once people die they will not be sad, judged by gods or pity their family; they will not be anything at all. “Death is nothing to us,” he says. Not fearing death is easier said than done.
While a fear of death sign can be a symptom of OCD, it's also a fear that affects many people from time to time, without necessarily indicating any greater mental health concern. It may also indicate other conditions, most commonly a specific phobia called thanatophobia.
You can also have obsessions about the process of dying. Death obsessions can be caused by various underlying factors such as anxiety, depression, or OCD. If you're having obsessions about death, these are often unwanted, intrusive thoughts that interfere with your daily functioning.
They Know They're Dying
Dying is a natural process that the body has to work at. Just as a woman in labor knows a baby is coming, a dying person may instinctively know death is near. Even if your loved one doesn't discuss their death, they most likely know it is coming.
Do say – “It's good to see you.” Let them know you have been thinking of them. At a loss for words – It's OK to say, “Mary, I don't know what to say or do, but I'm here and I care about you.” Listen – If the person talks about being anxious, listen quietly. Don't try to change the subject or silence the person.
It's natural to feel anxious or worried about what might happen next or even to worry that we might lose someone else in future. The period before or after someone dies is also very stressful. For those dealing with anticipatory grief due to terminal illness, you might also be living with a heightened sense of anxiety.
Create memories and stories
If your mum or dad feels up to it, you could sit down and talk about their favourite memories and look back over their life. You could also ask them to tell you about their thoughts and dreams for you and your future.
There is nothing you can say or do to make the person's pain disappear. That will happen with time, rest, and appropriate support. Explain to them that you are sorry about what they have had to experience and that you are there to help them in any way they need.
She said that though these things may appear unusual, they are absolutely typical at that stage. “There is something most people say before they die, and it's usually 'I love you' or they call out to their mum or dad – who have usually already died,” Julie said.
– Your last wishes can include anything you want, including funeral or cremation preferences and plans, body disposition preferences, obituary information, messages to your loved ones, requests for your final days, and personal information like where your will is.
Talk about memories and accomplishments. Share memories of joyous occasions. Start the conversation with, “Remember when …” Listen and be attentive while the dying person is sharing.