People may act like this because they fear losing control, are insecure, or lack self-esteem . They might do it to cope with stress, anxiety , depression, or insecurity, or to deal with rejection or conflict. Alternatively, they might do it because they have a grudge against a colleague, or feel underappreciated.
There are many possible causes of passive aggression, such as fear of conflict, difficulty expressing emotions, low self-esteem and a lack of assertiveness. People who tend to be more introverted may also struggle with expressing their needs or wants directly.
The goal of passive-aggressive behavior is to frustrate the wishes of others and make others angry. This anger is most often directed at bosses, roommates, spouses, parents, teachers, or anyone who has power or authority.
For instance, passive-aggressive behavior can appear in the form of resistance to another person's requests by procrastinating, expressing sullenness, or acting stubbornly. Someone who is passive-aggressive often lets others take control while someone who is aggressive is more confrontational or directly forceful.
Examples of passive-aggression are playing the game of emotional “get-back” with someone by resisting cooperation with them, giving them the “silent treatment,” pouting or whining, not so accidentally “forgetting” something they wanted you to do because you're angry and didn't really feel like obliging them, etc.
Sarcasm is kind of making a joke out of something, using humor. And being passive aggressive is making someone feel bad about something by pretending to joke about it.
They ask questions that make you feel defensive.
Instead of asking, "What does that involve?" or saying, "I've heard about keto diets, but don't know much about them," or even just, "How is that going for you?" a passive-aggressive person might say, "Why did you ever decide to do that?"
But make no mistake: Passive-aggression is an expression of hostility in relationships. "Passive-aggression is how the weak and powerless try to thwart the authority of those who they view as strong and powerful," says Wetzler.
What is it? According to the American Psychological Association (APA), PAPD is “a personality disorder of long standing in which ambivalence toward the self and others” is expressed by passive expressions of underlying negativism. This means that PAPD is a chronic, generally inflexible, condition.
Passive-aggressive actions can erode the health of your relationships and friendships. Your passive-aggression points to an unmet need, and if you don't communicate openly, you likely will never get this need met, and the relationship may crumble around it. Passive aggression can hurt your career.
Acts out aggression physically
A passive-aggressive person may slam doors, move things around loudly, or use other physical means of getting their point across without words.
Guilt and shame are one of the most common reasons that passive-aggressive people lean into behaviors like diminished eye contact. Whether they feel guilty about what they want to say — but can't — or, they're just feeling guilty about what they have done to you…
WordFinder also identified some of the least passive-aggressive work phrases, including “Sorry to bother you again,” “Any update on this” and “I'll take care of it.” According to Mercurio, the difference in the delivery of these phrases have to do with timing and attitude.
Subtle digs or negative comments are a common form of passive aggression. For example, a person might comment on a topic they know makes another person uncomfortable, such as their dating life or weight. They might also use their knowledge about a person's history to subtly hurt them.
Covert narcissists often behave in passive-aggressive ways. They disregard others while exaggerating their own importance. They also blame, shame, and ignore the feelings and needs of other people.
Signs of Passive-Aggressive Behavior in Narcissists
Indirect hostility (backhanded compliments) Silent treatment to purposely cause discomfort. Purposeful lack of communication. Sulking.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior Management. Many people don't realize that they're being passive-aggressive. The behavior may feel "normal" to them.
A common form of passive aggression is to exaggerate the characteristics you know they find frustrating. You may demand their attention by being intentionally messy, forgetful or unorganised.
Passive bullying is not overt and can often be overlooked as a result. It can include subtle things such as offhand negative remarks or jokes; undermining colleagues through the quiet spread of misinformation; sabotaging a colleague's work by withholding information; or deliberately socially excluding people.
Tactical ignoring
Silence and non-responsiveness are not only passive aggressive forms of manipulation and attention seeking; they can also be used as tools to promote changes in behavior.