“It's not my fault, it's because of you/money/stress/work.” “If you wouldn't have done this, I wouldn't have done that.” “You knew what you were getting into; this is just the way that I am.”
To win, they try to dominate, bully, deceive, demean, humiliate, and hurt others. For that, they use certain common and predictable tactics that include but are not limited to arguing in bad faith, lying, denying, deflecting and attacking, gaslighting, and intimidating.
They might insult you, threaten violence, yell, or lie to make themselves look better. Be mentally prepared for a strong reaction and remember to stay calm and diplomatic. Don't yell or threaten them back and put physical distance between you if you feel unsafe.
The narcissist perceives every disagreement - let alone criticism - as nothing short of a threat. He reacts defensively. He becomes indignant, aggressive and cold. He detaches emotionally for fear of yet another (narcissistic) injury.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
The rage associated with a narcissistic injury ranges from mild irritation to outright physical attacks. Some narcissists will gaslight, deflect, project, verbally assault, or collapse. Depending on the severity of the injury, others may be physically aggressive, becoming incredibly dangerous.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
If you're arguing with a narcissist, being firm with your boundaries will help you stand your ground. You should also acknowledge their feelings because it may help soothe them. Don't hesitate to step away if you need to step away from the conversation to gather your thoughts.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.
Outsmart the narcissist by refusing to stoop to their level.
Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down. Narcissistic Partner: “I can't believe you forgot to pick me up from work! I can never rely on you.”
Rage: Narcissists are insecure and when there is a narcissistic injury to their sense of self, they will rage. This is often done with yelling and insults hurled at the victim. During these rages, the narcissist can be the most damaging in their words.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
