According to Psychology Today, gaslighting typically begins gradually, with a snide comment or critical remark disguised as a joke. The gaslighter may then deny having said or done something, tell blatant lies and eventually project his or her bad behavior or traits on you.
Examples of gaslighting
They may say things such as, “Are you sure about that? You have a bad memory,” or “I think you are forgetting what really happened.” Withholding: This involves someone pretending they do not understand the conversation, or refusing to listen, to make a person doubt themselves.
“A gaslighter will often make you beg for their forgiveness and apologize profusely for any 'wrong' you committed, even if it's something they did,” Stern says. Sometimes you may not even know what you're apologizing for, other than they're upset and it's your responsibility to calm them down.
Gaslighting is not a rational behavior and gaslighters will not respond to logic or admit their true motivation.
The gaslighter enjoys emotionally, physically, and financially controlling their victims. The relationship may start well the manipulative person may praise his or her victim and establishes trust quickly by confiding in their victim immediately.
It could be divided into four different types: outright lying, manipulation of reality, scapegoating and coercion. Often the experience is a combination of these four types and not just limited to one of them.
Red Flag 1: You're doubting your own truth. Red Flag 2: You're questioning yourself excessively. Red Flag 3: You're feeling confused. Red Flag 4: You're frequently thinking you must be perceiving things incorrectly.
Some gaslighters are aware of their behavior, and they may even work to improve their gaslighting skills. They might enjoy the sense of superiority they feel from making others doubt their sanity and correctness. Others who gaslight might not be aware that they're doing it.
Signs of Narcissist Gaslighting
They may try to make you feel like you're overreacting or being too sensitive by saying things like, “You're being paranoid,” or “You're imagining things.” They might also try to control what you do and who you see by trying to isolate you from your friends and family.
To maintain control over their victims, a gaslighter will get defensive and find a way to manipulate you into believing you're at fault. For example, if you confront them about their inappropriate workplace behavior or jokes, they might turn it around on you by asking you why you're not resilient enough to take it.
Another way to identify examples of gaslighting is to think about how you might go about eroding somebody's sense of reality. Efforts to hide important details, lie about one's own actions, and control the narrative and the person in general, are all behaviors that can have a gaslighting effect (Petric, 2022).
Though some people may not realize the damage their behavior is causing, if they aren't willing to hear your requests for change and attempt to make these changes, end the relationship before it goes any further. Remember that gaslighters have fragile egos, little self-esteem, and are inherently weak.
Don't even look their way. Just stare straight ahead in silence. If they continue their behavior, just walk away. This is one of the most frustrating situations for a gaslighter because it makes them feel powerless.
One of the most common reasons people gaslight is to gain power over others. This need for domination may stem from narcissism, antisocial personality, or other issues. Like most cases of abuse, gaslighting is about control. As gaslighting progresses, the target often second-guesses their own memories and thoughts.
If we stick to the clinical definition, gaslighters have two signature moves: They lie with the intent of creating a false reality, and they cut off their victims socially.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse that involves a person deliberately causing someone to doubt their sanity. This may cause feelings of confusion or powerlessness. The long-term effects of gaslighting include trauma, anxiety, and depression.
They turn the story around to make it seem like you are at fault, deflecting attention and blame away from them to make you feel guilty. This type of emotional manipulation is called gaslighting.
Gaslighting in a relationship is about power, domination, and often fear of losing control. Often a gaslighter will use some of the following tactics to maintain control over their partner: They use their love as a defense for their actions. They accuse their victim of being paranoid.
Gaslighters attempt to gain control over others by making them question their own memory, reality, and sanity. Gaslighting is a common tactic of domestic abusers, cult leaders, sociopaths, narcissists, and dictators.
Their apologies are always conditional When someone says, “I'm sorry you feel that way,” that's not an apology; the other person is not taking responsibility for their behaviour, they're simply manipulating you. Gaslighters will only apologise if they are trying to get something out of you.