Constant lying and making up stories, known as pathological lying, mythomania, or pseudologia fantastica, describes a compulsive pattern of telling elaborate, untrue stories, often with no clear benefit, and sometimes even believing the lies themselves. While not a standalone diagnosis in the DSM-5, it's a significant psychological symptom linked to underlying conditions like personality disorders (antisocial, narcissistic), trauma, low self-esteem, or even brain disorders.
The journey toward "curing" pathological lying is typically a complex and challenging one, but with the right combination of treatments and a motivation to change, pathological liars can become more honest.
Liars react strategically and emotionally: denial, justification, counterattack, evasion, or appeasement are common responses. Detecting deception requires pattern recognition, baseline comparison, targeted questioning, and corroborating evidence rather than reliance on any single ``tell.''
Antisocial, histrionic, narcissistic, borderline, and compulsive personalities have been associated with lying. The treatment of lying needs to be individualized according to the overall symptom complex in which it is embedded.
Through therapy, people can become more aware of their lying patterns and the reasons they lie. Therapy can help them build the motivation to change and practice new, healthier ways of communicating their needs and emotions.
No, lying isn't an official symptom of ADHD. However, traits like impulsivity, forgetfulness, and emotional dysregulation can make lying more likely.
Most pathological liars don't feel ashamed or guilty for lying. Even when confronted about their lies, they might become defensive or change their stories.
Personality disorders involve pervasive patterns of distorted thinking, feeling, and behaving, leading to significant distress and functional problems, often seen as intense mood swings, unstable relationships, difficulty with self-image, impulsive/risky actions, extreme suspicion, emotional detachment or drama, difficulty controlling anger, sensitivity to criticism, trouble with boundaries, and issues with empathy or morality. These signs manifest differently across the various types, such as Borderline, Narcissistic, or Avoidant Personality Disorders, but generally impact how a person sees themselves, interacts with others, and manages emotions.
Manipulative tendencies may derive from cluster B personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder. Manipulative behavior has also been related with one's level of emotional intelligence.
Either way, a relationship with a pathological liar or a compulsive liar will be the worst relationship of your life. The relationship that you have with them will be just as bad as the one they have with themselves. You can never “rescue” a liar. You can only get away.
Instead of saying, “I didn't do it,” a deceptive person might shift the focus with a protest statement like “Why would I do something like that?” or “You know me, I would never.” Others might repeat a question verbatim, buying themselves time while crafting a response.
Here are a few techniques to determine if someone is telling the truth or not.
Liars fear being caught, leading to consequences like punishment, rejection, or humiliation, but also fear the exposure of their true, often flawed, selves or the shame and guilt associated with deception, especially when lying stems from trauma or low self-worth. They fear losing control, the damage to trust when lies are revealed, and situations where someone remembers details, as inconsistencies unravel their fabrications.
To avoid being judged or feel shame. With the aim of avoiding punishment. To protect themselves from retaliation. For no “good reason” (e.g., compulsive lying).
But in our book, we talk about some research we did with therapists and then our own inferences of treatments. And largely therapists and ourselves, we think that cognitive behavioral therapy would be highly effective to treat and work with people who suffer from pathological lying.
Symptoms
12 Phrases Skilled Manipulators Use in Everyday Conversation
The number one trait of a narcissist is often considered a grandiose sense of self-importance (grandiosity) combined with a profound lack of empathy, where they see others as tools for their own gain and have an inflated, often unrealistic, view of their own superiority, needing constant admiration without acknowledging others' feelings or needs, as highlighted by HelpGuide.org and The Hart Centre. This core creates other behaviors like entitlement, manipulation, and arrogance, making them believe they deserve special treatment.
Doctors diagnose antisocial personality disorder based on symptoms, including disregard for consequences and for the rights of others and use of deceit and/or manipulation to get what they want.
According to DSM-5, features of a personality disorder usually begin to manifest during adolescence and early adulthood. In earlier versions of DSM, a personality disorder could not be diagnosed in someone under age 18; however, DSM-5 now allows this diagnosis if the features have been present for at least one year.
“Among other common lies, we have the silent lie — The deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.” —Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Strategies for Detecting and Responding to Lying