INFJs find happiness through a sense of purpose, deep connections, understanding, and meaningful experiences, often involving creativity, helping others, nature, quiet solitude, and exploring abstract ideas, balanced with deep conversations and feeling valued. They thrive when they can make a positive impact, learn, and connect authentically, while also needing peace and time to recharge their inner world.
Generally, INFJ's need alone time to process their thoughts (they are far more conscious of their thoughts in the presence of others than most will notice) or emotions (they are generally good at reading others' emotions but need more time to understand their emotions) so it's important to give them space.
The best way to comfort is to let them know you understand they need space to think and cool off, and request them to catch up with you when they are ready. This way, INFJ is comforted by the fact that you know how they feel, and you care to wait and go through it with them when they are ready.
INFJ (The Advocate): INFJs are thoughtful and deeply intuitive. They can sense emotions and patterns that others miss. They crave depth in relationships, conversations, and purpose, and they often feel drained by anything shallow. They are loyal, private, and protective of their energy.
Advocates (INFJ)
With this much holiday cheer, it's a safe bet that they feel some excitement about gift giving. But for these types, the best present isn't the one with the fanciest packaging or the biggest price tag – it's the one that's given with the most thought and care. Bring their favorite book to life.
Jesus' ministry was steeped in compassion. He wept at Lazarus' tomb (John 11:35), he touched lepers when no one else would (Matthew 8:3), and he welcomed children when others dismissed them (Mark 10:14). His actions embodied the INFJ's instinct to prioritize people's emotional and spiritual well-being.
Like all humans, INFJs are prone to spontaneous tears. This can happen anywhere and at any time – at the gym upon hearing a sad song, in the grocery store when a memory flashes by, or while watching a kid's show with a tender moment.
What melts an INFJ's heart? An overload cuteness of babies and animals. A genuine, kind-hearted and loving soul.
For example, I could go out of my way to be there for you if you need help or support. If I like you, I tend to be close to you. INFJ like to be physically close with the people they like. If you notice they like to be close to you or make eye contact with you, that's a good sign they like you.
How do INFJs act with depression? Persistent low mood. Social isolation. A tendency to feel guilty or shameful.
We are hurt easily by criticism and dragged down quickly by pessimism or any other kind of excessive negativity. We are also hyper-aware of the tone of voice and moods of others. All of these things can cause us to experience an emotional storm within ourselves.
Once they do find genuine friendships, INFJs make loyal, caring companions. At times they may even be surprised by the fierceness of the loyalty and devotion that they feel toward their friends. Ultimately, the only way to be counted among INFJs' true friends is to be authentic, honest, and real.
Strategies for engaging INFJ types
Encourage projects that require empathy, strategic thinking, and innovative solutions. Offer recognition and appreciation: Recognize and appreciate their contributions in a meaningful way, showing genuine understanding of their motivations and ethical standards.
Telepathy. We “read minds”. Precognition.
Loud noises, bright lights, and crowded spaces will leave an INFJ fried. Their sensitivity means they are aware of everything—painfully so. Without time for a break, anxiety seeps in, exhausting them emotionally. Alone time is not a luxury; it's survival.
The person who is pushing them backs them into a psychological corner from which there is no escape. They either make the INFJ feel trapped in a life situation that is intolerable, or they lay one final straw on the camel's back and trigger the deep well of rage that has been simmering in the INFJ for quite some time.
INFJ personalities care about integrity, and they tend to bristle when people try to change them or talk them into something that they don't believe. As a result, they gravitate toward partners who appreciate them as they are.
The 12 Dark Sides of an INFJ: To Know Them is to Handle Them
The Top 5 Ways To Annoy An INFJ
INFJs can be cynical and rude, but rarely will be as such in a public setting. If anything, we're more likely to silently ignore/avoid a problematic person or situation.
With their “N” and “J” combination, you are capable of both vision and action and make strong humanitarians. Famous compassionate and effective INFJ game-changers include Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa. INFJ individuals are often emotionally gifted.
According to 16Personalities, INFJs (“Advocates”) were the most religious, at 44.33%, and INFPs were the least, at 33.50%. Many INFJs reported that their beliefs are always changing, evolving, and growing (resulting in more INFJs identifying as spiritual).
Some others may say it's a product of “trauma” period (whether it happens during childhood or not). Most people who subscribe to this theory happen to have had (childhood) trauma of their own. The truth, as I see it, is that we INFJs are all born to be more sensitive-minded than average to begin with.