Men tend to give you mixed signals when they are either not interested and planning to keep you as backup, are confused about what they want or even playing around. This behaviour can be very frustrating and it gets difficult to deal with that hot and cold attitude.
They may say, “I've been thinking about you. I would love to see you.” Here's what you send back. “If I'm being honest, I'm a little surprised you want us to go on another date. I haven't felt like we've been that close recently as I've not heard from you very much.
“Usually, it's used to create distance,” Feuerman says. “It's a way to say, 'I'm not totally sure I am into your or not. ' Or, 'I'm not sure if we want the same thing here.” Either way, mixed signals can be used to slow down the pace of the relationship without actually talking about it. (Cue eyeroll.)
They're Sending Mixed Signals
Generally speaking, this is a sign of someone playing games. It's a way to keep you off balance. But someone who truly loves you won't subject you to this emotional rollercoaster ride.
As a phrase, “dry texting” is relatively recent in the grand scheme of things. It refers to people who reply with one word, or don't carry the conversation and just say things like “lmao” and “wyd” until the receiver wants to tear their hair out in frustration or boredom.
Stay calm, confront but don't accuse. You have every right to find out why he's gone from hot to cold. If he opens up, the conversation could bring you closer. If he refuses to share his feelings and stays distant, then it's time to move on.
When a person blows hot and cold, they often want you to react and give them the attention they crave. When this happens, you should stand your ground – ignore them, be yourself, be independent and show them you are not affected by their behaviour.
One of the most common reasons men blow hot and cold is that they're just not that into you. It's hurtful, but it happens. If he's not invested in the relationship, he may act inconsistently simply because he doesn't care enough to make the effort.
How guys text you when they like you varies, but some are consistent. For example, a guy will ask many questions about you, text first, compliment you, send emojis, make you laugh, find reasons to talk to you, and give hints for a date.
During the flirting stage, a guy who likes you will attempt to show you his best sides. He'll talk about his new apartment, his band, his promotion, or his talents. Some men may even shower you with expensive gifts, invite you to watch them play a sport, or make an extra effort to improve their physical appearance.
One of the obvious reasons why a guy may ignore or act disinterested in you is because he feels you are too good for him. He lacks the confidence to approach you or is evasive about his feelings with you, fearing you might reject him. He feels that sharing his true feelings might ruin your friendship with him.
One clear power move that a man will do to you when he's trying to test your patience? He'll ignore you for days at a time, not giving you any updates on where he is, what he's been up to, or whether or not he's even still alive.
Things You Should Know
Consider reasons his interest may have waned: maybe he's shy, maybe he's playing head games, or maybe he's just realized you're not compatible! Decide whether it's worth it to pursue him anyway. He might just need time—or he might just not be worth the trouble. Ask him directly what's going on.
Cold texting is reaching out via SMS to a contact without their prior consent or permission. It's similar to cold calling and cold emailing. Some examples that would lead to cold texting include: Purchasing a contact list from a third party. Finding customers' phone information online.
Your guy might prefer to text a bit less, or he might not like texting at all. It's worth checking in with his comfort levels and preferences. Some guys send dry texts because they aren't fans of texting, so keep in mind a dry text doesn't immediately mean that your guy doesn't like you.
As a phrase, “dry texting” is relatively recent in the grand scheme of things. It refers to people who reply with one word, or don't carry the conversation and just say things like “lmao” and “wyd” until the receiver wants to tear their hair out in frustration or boredom.
If you find that he's listening more attentively or going out of his way to spend more time with you than his other pals, it could be a clear sign of romantic interest. However, if you see that he approaches you with the same interest as the others in the friend group, then he's probably keeping you in the friend zone.
Mixed signals are usually a sign that someone is struggling with an inner conflict. They're being pulled in different directions and they're trying to figure out how to resolve their dilemma. They may want opposed or contradictory things, such as absolute freedom and also security.
As a rule, mixed signals are usually just soft nos. Some women, especially, might try to let men down easy for fear that you guys might go apeshit on us for not wanting to date you—which happens enough to feel like a justified fear. Everyone bemoans this dynamic.