Oftentimes, people say the best age for a child to go through a divorce is when they are young. Kids who are three or under don't have much cognitive function yet and won't have fond memories of parents that are together. If you don't remember what you have, then it's hard to mourn what you lost.
Elementary school age (6–12) This is arguably the toughest age for children to deal with the separation or divorce of their parents.
Adolescents (12 to 16 years old) are less dependent on the family, and therefore divorce would seem to be less significant to them. Still, self-esteem drops for many teenagers (but more so for children) during parental divorce.
Is it always best to stay together for the kids? The short-term answer is usually yes. Children thrive in predictable, secure families with two parents who love them and love each other. Separation is unsettling, stressful, and destabilizing unless there is parental abuse or conflict.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
Studies reveal that children who are raised in a two person, loving, and stable environment show less signs of depression, anxiety, and defiant behavior and these children also have better academics and develop the capacity for truly intimate relationships; children raised in a stressful and conflicted marriage are ...
Children from divorced families may experience more externalizing problems, such as conduct disorders, delinquency, and impulsive behavior than kids from two-parent families. 6 In addition to increased behavior problems, children may also experience more conflict with peers after a divorce.
Children of divorce are more likely to experience poverty, educational failure, early and risky sexual activity, non-marital childbirth, earlier marriage, cohabitation, marital discord and divorce. In fact, emotional problems associated with divorce actually increase during young adulthood.
Research shows that about 80 percent of children of divorce adapt well and see no lasting negative effects on their grades, social adjustment, or mental health.
Research has documented that parental divorce/separation is associated with an increased risk for child and adolescent adjustment problems, including academic difficulties (e.g., lower grades and school dropout), disruptive behaviors (e.g., conduct and substance use problems), and depressed mood2.
There are times you MUST leave—if there is ongoing abuse or if you are in danger of physical harm, you should only consider staying safe. Repeated bouts of addiction, cheating, emotional badgering, and severe financial abuse need to be handled with extreme care as well.
Waite examined the couples who rated their marriage as “life in hell.” Of the couples who stayed married, 78 percent were happy with life five years later. Only 53 percent of those who chose to separate or divorce said they were happy.
Researchers have estimated that the period of adjustment for families can range anywhere from one to three years, and sometimes even as long as five, depending on the circumstances surrounding the divorce. It is important for parents to realize children will have different types of reactions.
Studies have shown that children of divorced parents are more likely to experience behavioral problems, academic difficulties, and mental health issues. They are also at greater risk of developing unhealthy relationships themselves.
Perhaps the most difficult period of divorce is the “separation period.” That is the time between when you decide to get a divorce, and the date when you are actually divorced.
The Four Horsemen are four communication habits that increase the likelihood of divorce, according to research by psychologist and renowned marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph. D. Those four behaviors are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.
Divorce may leave school-age kids between the ages of 6 and 11 struggling with feelings of abandonment. Younger children—specifically 5- to 8-year-olds—may not understand the concept and feel as if their parents are divorcing them.
Both parents should continue to listen to their children about their problems, provide emotional support, help with everyday issues like homework, and maintain rules and expectations for behavior. Children who experience parenting that promotes warmth and boundaries thrive.
A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And the percentage of college-educated American women who initiated divorce is even higher.