At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
When a narcissist realizes you are done, they'll gaslight you every chance they get in their effort to pull you back over to the dark side. Don't let them. They might threaten to hurt themselves to get back at you; there's no telling what will happen because of their sheer lack of empathy and remorse.
So yes, narcissists can miss you in the sense that they feel bad when an emotional need isn't being met when you're not around and thus they want you back in their life. They need someone to boost their ego and make them feel good about themselves.
Narcissists think that they will always be entitled to your love and support. You belong to him and no one else. They'll feel angry that you betrayed him. So when they see that you have moved on with your life without them in it, they'll feel robbed of something that he thinks belongs to them.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
Rejection
Rejection causes major narcissistic injury and is one of the top 10 things narcissists fear the most. They can't handle it, even if it's a tiny slight. Remember, they have a sense of entitlement and pride themselves on being the ones who reject and discard their victims.
First, a partner who projects his or her jealousy onto a person may be displaying signs of narcissism. The partner may not be able to cope with the negative emotion, so he or she defends against it by “seeing” it in a mate. The partner then feels entitled to accuse and criticize the person.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
Some narcissists may be able to feel bad about something they've done to hurt someone else. It isn't guilt they feel, so much as regret (or even anger) that things happened the way they did. But any “remorse” they feel is likely to be about how that behavior affected them rather than how it affected the victim.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
Feeling desperate for the pain to stop, panic about never ending loneliness and doubt about leaving are common. You might find yourself caught in the compulsive mental replay of the injustice you endured. The grief stages can last for several weeks gradually becoming less frequent for up to a year or more.
How will a narcissist react if I tell him goodbye? The most probable scenario is that they will be extremely angry, disbelieving what they hear. A narcissist believes he/she is the one that dictates the rules of the game. They believe that they have the right to sat when it's over.
Generally, how do narcissists feel when you move on? Naturally, narcissism is characterized by envy. Besides having an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and requiring constant, narcissists tend to envy others. So, when the narcissist sees you with someone else, it may not go well with them.
Maybe you have a high-status job, a large social circle, or a talent that makes you sought after. If they're always thinking what a catch you are, they'll be obsessed with keeping you. The narcissist thinks it reflects well on them to have someone special, skilled, or capable interested in them.
They tend to want to be the best and seem the happiest at the expense of another person's well-being. You might notice that they use detrimental behavior to devalue the happy people around them. This is likely because they want to stand out and do what they can to gain higher status and make others unhappy.
While reacting to criticism or offense with upset and irritation is normal, any mild negative remark can trigger feelings of rejection for the narcissist. Their response will be far beyond a typical level of anger. The first line of attack might be brutal shouting, screaming, and ridiculous accusations against you.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”
Deep down, the narcissist views themself as flawed and unlovable. So if you love them, they view you as imperfect, making you the target of their punishment. Their self-hatred and shame transfer onto you. They choose you because you are more easily manipulated or accommodating to their needs.
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
Don't accommodate them. If they need you to do something for them, even if it's small or no trouble at all — don't do it. Try to refuse them with the least amount of fuss possible. Know that the more you do for the narcissist, the worse it will get.