When your loved one is nearing death, it is important to end each conversation in a way that will be okay if it is the last time you speak. Casual goodbyes like “See you around,” or “I've got to run, so bye for now,” may leave you wishing you had said something different. Your goodbyes don't need to be mushy.
Ways to say goodbye
You might set aside a time to talk to each person individually. Or, if you are physically up to it, you might have a gathering for friends and family. Other ways to say goodbye include documenting insights, requests, thanks, advice, recipes, memories or anything else that is important to you.
"Don't say things like 'let me know if you need anything'," advises Lyons. "Instead, do things: cook some food, clean the house, send cards, keep in touch often. Lots of people send flowers which is lovely, but when those flowers die, make sure they get thrown away.
Thus, their auditory systems were responding similarly to those of young, healthy controls just hours from end of life. Hearing may indeed be one of the last senses to lose function as humans die.
Visions and Hallucinations
Visual or auditory hallucinations are often part of the dying experience. The appearance of family members or loved ones who have died is common. These visions are considered normal. The dying may turn their focus to “another world” and talk to people or see things that others do not see.
It says “Please forgive me,” “I forgive you,” “Thank you,” and “I love you” It's the four things you're supposed to express at the end of your life to find peace of mind before you die.
1 of or occurring at the end; concluding; ultimate; last. 2 having no possibility for further discussion, action, or change; conclusive; decisive.
The last days or hours of a person's life are sometimes called the terminal phase. This is when someone is "actively dying".
Do say – “It's good to see you.” Let them know you have been thinking of them. At a loss for words – It's OK to say, “Mary, I don't know what to say or do, but I'm here and I care about you.” Listen – If the person talks about being anxious, listen quietly. Don't try to change the subject or silence the person.
End-of-life transition refers to a person's journey to death, especially in those with a terminal diagnosis. This process occurs differently for everyone. For some, it takes days or weeks; for others, it occurs rapidly. Partnering with a trusted medical team during this time can limit pain.
Often, the words are brief because there is no energy for a full conversation. “Mama” is one of the most common last words that people speak. Some people's last utterances are curse words. Others may mumble a word that holds significance to them – but it may mean nothing to their families – for their final words.
Hospice has a program that says that no one should have to die alone, and yet this hospice nurse is telling me to take a break? Some patients want to die when no one else is there. Hospice professionals know that companionship while dying is a personal preference.
The end-of-life period—when body systems shut down and death is imminent—typically lasts from a matter of days to a couple of weeks. Some patients die gently and tranquilly, while others seem to fight the inevitable. Reassuring your loved one it is okay to die can help both of you through this process.
Feeling very sad and crying often is a very normal part of the dying process. However, feeling down or depressed most of the time is not normal. Thinking a lot about death or suicide and feeling guilty or worthless are often signs of depression. Depression is common in people who are dying and should be treated.
Sleep Changes at End of Life
This can be distressing for family members because they can't communicate as well with their loved one. At this point, it is not wise to encourage your loved one to be more active, or to wake them during the day so they can sleep at night. It's best to let them sleep as they need to.
Often patients who are about to die will shed a single tear, and in some instances a second tear. This phenomenon known as lacrima mortis or the tear of death is a source of mystery that transcends this mortal realm.
They Know They're Dying
Dying is a natural process that the body has to work at. Just as a woman in labor knows a baby is coming, a dying person may instinctively know death is near. Even if your loved one doesn't discuss their death, they most likely know it is coming.