Whether to let your baby cry it out (CIO) during a sleep regression is a personal choice, with options ranging from full CIO (extinction) for faster results to gentler methods like gradual withdrawal or offering comfort (responsive settling), as some babies need more reassurance and CIO can be stressful, but studies show it often has little long-term developmental impact, so assess your comfort, your baby's temperament, and ensure they are fed, dry, and safe before deciding on a strategy, keeping in mind that consistency is key.
When I asked her how a baby should be allowed to cry during sleep training, her typical advice to clients is 45 minutes. That's the average amount of time a baby spends crying on the first night of sleep training.
Don't adjust your bedtime routine.
Improved sleep during a sleep regression stage is a welcome surprise which is why sticking with your normal bedtime routine is so important. Moving through your usual bath, book, and cuddle time allows your child to understand that this is what happens before bedtime—all of the time.
Gently Encourage Your Baby Back to Sleep
As soon as they are fed, avoid playing with them or stimulating them and put them back to bed to return to sleep. If your baby cries from separation anxiety when you put them in bed, resist the urge to pull them back out of their crib.
Cry it out is a lousy way to get out of night feedings. It will work but will result in a lot of crying as hungry babies don't easily fall asleep.
But it's important to note up front: The cry-it-out method has not been found to be harmful to babies. “There is no evidence to show that children have any social-emotional issues or resentment toward their parents later in life for letting them cry for a few minutes at nighttime,” Dr. Schwartz reassures.
What to do when your baby wakes up
The 4-month sleep regression is the most difficult sleep regression due to the permanent neurological change in sleeping patterns. This is a maturation of sleep cycles from up to 6-8 hours down to 2-4 hours.
There's no “right” answer as to whether or not you can use the Cry It Out (CIO) approach during a sleep regression. This will depend on how comfortable you are with your baby's crying.
Let them self-soothe, when possible.
Sometimes, they may self-soothe themselves back to sleep. If they don't, enter the room, pat their head, tummy and reassure them. Try to avoid picking them up and rocking them to sleep as they can become dependent on this habit.
3) Stick To Your Routine
If you already have one, keep it up during a sleep regression. This consistency will help your baby realize that it's time to wind down and sleep. If you don't have a sleepy-time routine, decide what works for your family and stick to it.
The "3-2-1 bedroom method" isn't one standard thing, but often refers to either sleep hygiene rules (stop food/alcohol 3 hrs before bed, work 2 hrs before, screens 1 hr before) or creative floor plan solutions for small homes, like turning a sunroom into a bedroom or dividing a large room to get more sleeping areas, especially when adding a third bedroom is needed, focusing on clever layouts and dividing spaces efficiently.
The 3-2-1 bedtime method is a simple sleep hygiene strategy: stop eating 3 hours before bed, stop working 2 hours before bed, and stop using screens (phones, tablets, TVs) 1 hour before sleep, helping your body transition to rest by reducing stimulants and digestive load for better sleep quality. A more detailed version adds 10 hours (no caffeine) and 0 (no snoozing) for a 10-3-2-1-0 rule.
How Much Crying Is Too Much Crying? On average, most families with which we work who do Cry It Out have babies who cry 30-45 minutes in one stretch. However, it's not uncommon for some babies to cry 1-2 hours during the height of sleep training. In some cases, babies become hoarse from crying.
Stick to a Routine: Keep up with your calming bedtime routine, like feeding, a bath, a book, and lullabies. It helps signal that it's time to sleep. Create a Cozy Sleep Space: Make sure the sleep area is dark and quiet to help your baby settle down.
If a parent is constantly picking up their child when they awaken at night, the child is less likely to learn how to fall asleep on their own. You don't need to worry that letting a child self-soothe, or cry it out, will create some type of emotional detachment or barrier between you and your child.
Mothers and babies are designed to be a responsive dyad. Babies express their needs through crying. Letting babies "cry it out" is a form of need-neglect that leads to many long-term effects. The "cry it out" method releases stress hormones, impairs self-regulation, and undermines trust.
Can I let my 4 month old cry it out during a sleep regression? While some parents may choose the total extinction cry it out (CIO) method to sleep train their 3 - 4 month old, we generally don't recommend it. This method involves letting the baby cry themselves to sleep without offering comfort or reassurance.
The key to cry it out and other sleep training methods is following the same routine, night after night. In most cases, babies learn to go to sleep on their own by the third or fourth night – or after a week at the most.
Sleep regression is usually temporary. It may go away just as fast as it came on, or it may last for a few weeks or months. In some cases, sleep training may help get things back on track sooner. Sleep disruption isn't something that all babies go through, but most do experience it from time to time.
Sleep regressions are less linked to the age of a baby and more linked to what they're going through. Sleep regression in babies may be due to: A growth spurt may make your baby need an extra feeding or two during the night. Hunger could lead to bedtime crying.
The 5-3-3 rule is a loose guideline for structuring a baby's sleep schedule: 5 hours of wake time before the first nap, 3 hours of wake time before the second nap, and 3 hours before bedtime.
Split nights usually involve baby waking up only once in the middle of the night but for an extended period of time—usually one to three hours.
Call Your Doctor If:
The first three months with your baby often seem the hardest. Sleep-deprived parents can feel overwhelmed, but that is normal and you will quickly learn how to read your baby's cues and personality. Don't worry about “spoiling” your baby at this stage.