Either partner can say “I love you” first. If you're feeling it and want your partner to know, it's OK to be the one who takes the plunge. In 2011, a study on relationship commitment among college students found most of them believed women generally say “I love you” first.
Signs it's the right time to say "I love you":
You know your partner extremely well. You recognize your partner's flaws—but you still feel like you love them. You've had significant or meaningful experiences together. Statements like "I like you a lot" don't feel like they're enough anymore.
However, it is usually a good thing for him to say it first. The reason for this is that if he does, you know for sure that he really means it. However, if you say it first, he could say “I love you too” but maybe not really mean it.
Love is an action that involves two people. So if you have a good feeling your partner feels the same way you do, then it's probably safe to tell him you love him. A good indicator? Bilotta says, "You feel that they fully reciprocate your feelings of love and affection, and you can start to see your future together.
In general, you should wait until you feel ready and you have a sense of security in your relationship. But, there's no timeline for saying “I love you” for the first time. In fact, for some people, thinking about when to say “I love you” isn't a big deal.
While early relationship feels (and hormones) can be intoxicating, relationship experts warn that it might be a red flag if you or your partner is too quick to say, “I love you.”
If they haven't told you that they love you, this may be a sign that they're emotionally unavailable or detached from their feelings. For example, there are people who are unable to really open up and share their true feelings with a partner because they don't want to appear weak or vulnerable.
For example, you can watch his body language. He's likely to turn his body towards you when in conversation and to make eye contact with you. He may pay attention to you more than others that are around. He's also likely to try spending time with you more than with others when he's falling in love.
She said: "Recent studies indicated that most men say I love you on average after three months, while women can take two, three, six or even a year. "This is not always the case as others alter these heavy words after hours, days, of knowing each other."
Men usually say it first, and it's for the reason you think
A 2011 study published in the Journal of Sociology Psychology found that, while both male and female college students believe women tend to say “I love you” first, it's actually men who fall in love faster and say the L-word earlier.
The question of when to say “I love you” in a relationship is a contentious one. In the many conversations I've had on the topic, the consensus seems to be that three months in is the sweet spot.
The average time for men to fall in love is 88 days, while those same feelings of true love take women 134 days. Another dating site, Elite Singles, did a poll in 2017 and found that 61 per cent of women believe in love at first sight, while 72 per cent of men do. These surveys focused on heterosexual relationships.
He may not be verbally expressive about his feelings, but holding your hand signifies his love. He not only cares for you but always makes you his priority. In his presence, you will feel valued. If you notice more of these signs, you may confirm that he loves you.
This depends entirely on the man. Some men might consider it excessively needy, while others might be flattered and respond accordingly. However, it is usually wiser for the woman to wait until the man uses this expression first. Moreover, some men tend to express their "love" in actions rather than words.
But two subsequent studies, in which people who ranged in age from their mid-20s to their 60s reflected on their current or most recent relationships, showed that men actually declare love first about 70 percent of time.
Saying it too early will lose the value
While there are no hard and fast rules for when to say, “I love you” for the first time, you might want to think about if it's too early or not. But even if you think you're already truly, madly, and deeply in love, wait a while before expressing your lovey emotions.
Men are similarly socialized to believe that marriage is something that they won't like and should avoid for as long as possible. Men hesitate to use the words “I love you” for fear of giving the impression that it is only a matter of time before the ring follows.
Saying “I love you” too soon could impact your relationship.
However, if someone is on the fence about the relationship, is perhaps a bit emotionally immature, or is negatively triggered by those words, it could scare them off,” says Mann.
Physical, emotional, and mental abuse are undeniable red flags in any relationship. Physical abuse is easier to pick up. But emotional and mental abuse can be just as damaging in the long run. And just like physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse can cause PTSD.
Waiting is hard, but for the right person, the outcome can be worth it. Allow your partner the necessary time to get to know you—and demonstrate that you're as serious as you say you are. Make sure your partner knows they're in a safe space to share their thoughts and feelings with you.
According to a large 2022 study, men tend to say “I love you” more quickly than women. It takes men an average of 108 days (about 4 months) to confess love and women an average of around 123 days (about 4 months).