In focusing solely on the present needs of her child, a devouring mother mashes her state (adulthood) with that of her child (infancy, childhood). There may be another personality disorder associated with said behavior, but narcissism most certainly seems to be at the core.
The "Devouring" Mother
She does not see past the fact that they are being sheltered, and potentially driven to a point of incompetency if thrown into the "real world". The "devouring mother" also reflects control and obsession, and even extremes such as emotional, mental and physical violence.
Jordan Peterson calls the pathological version of motherhood the “Devouring Mother,” since this mother devours her children's potential along with her own fulfillment. Peterson typically focuses this analysis on the danger of overprotection in our parenting, wherein we protect our children out of their own competence.
The Tyrannical Father/Devouring Mother Archetypes
They are the narcissistic parent who dominates and consumes their children psychologically. Their children live to serve their needs and are punished for asserting themselves and wanting to become independent.
The devouring mother 'consumes' her children emotionally and psychologically and often instills in them feelings of guilt at leaving her or becoming independent. She loves her children selfishly instead of selflessly and is emotionally manipulative making the child incompetent and dependent.
The Devouring Mother Term Analysis
The “devouring mother” is co-dependent and “consumes” her children, particularly her sons, emotionally and psychologically. She seeks fulfillment through her children because the feminine mystique has convinced her that her identity is inseparable from her roles as wife and mother.
Due to their reward and novelty-seeking behaviors, Dr. Ramani adds that narcissists not only get bored easily with new things, but also new people.
Narcissists believe that they and their needs are special and take precedence over those of others. This core is made up of arrogance, self-involvement, and entitlement. In fact, entitlement is reportedly the most toxic element in relationships.
MD. Overbearing mothers hover, criticize, and overstep boundaries, which can lead to a host of challenges for their adult children including low self-esteem, dependence, and perfectionism. These mothers may think they are doing what's best for their children, but ultimately their hovering causes harm.
Many people experience the Jocasta Complex in reference to the proverbial 'mama's boy'. The mother often becomes obsessed with her relationship with her son to the exclusion of many other relationships and interests. She generally only chooses a favorite son whom she puts on a pedestal.
A good example of the Terrible Mother archetype is the black-skinned Hindu goddess Kali. Her eyes are described as red with absolute rage, her hair disheveled, and small fangs sometimes protrude out of her mouth.
Common signs of a toxic mother include ignoring boundaries, controlling behavior, and abuse in severe cases. Toxic mothers cannot recognize the impacts of their behavior, and children grow up feeling unloved, overlooked, or disrespected.
Parents Tend To Be More Involved
Because Type-A parents are more anxious and overly prepared, they are typically more involved in their kids' lives. They have a desperate need to feel control, and they can't be in control if they aren't well informed of what's going on in their children's lives.
This can manifest in several ways. One common way toxic mothers overstep boundaries with their daughters is by micromanaging their lives. If your mother continues to dictate your appearance, career, or romantic choices, or even meddles in your life long after you've reached adulthood, that is a sign of toxicity.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
Rejection
Rejection causes major narcissistic injury and is one of the top 10 things narcissists fear the most. They can't handle it, even if it's a tiny slight. Remember, they have a sense of entitlement and pride themselves on being the ones who reject and discard their victims.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
In a nutshell, Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS) occurs when demands on the mother increase, and her resources decrease. As a result of this imbalance, the mother's emotional sensitivity to both internal, and external triggers becomes heightened.
Treatments. The only way to effectively treat the Devouring in the long term is to regularly drain a person's excess mana.
Signs you have a controlling mother may range from mildly annoying comments to frequent arguments. She may often: Offer you unsolicited advice. Criticize your decisions about your relationships, career, or money.