It can leave significant psychological and emotional repercussions on the person on the receiving end. Being left in silence can be extremely painful, as it involves the loss of connection, love, intimacy, and sometimes even family participation.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
Silent treatment abuse is a form of emotional abuse in which a person refuses to communicate with you in order to control or influence your behaviors. Taking time to cool down after an argument is healthy, but shutting off communication for a long time, especially in order to control another person, is a form of abuse.
Using the silent treatment is an unproductive way of communicating within a relationship. It can sometimes be a form of self-protection, but at other times, it indicates emotional abuse. People who regularly use or experience the silent treatment should take steps to address it.
Clearly, silent treatment creates an atmosphere of anxiety, fear, and sadness that preclude an underlying sense of safety. As such, it causes unhappiness and psychological harm that most often heightens conflict in a relationship. It can lead one to feel anger, abandonment, rejection, and overall distress.
The silent treatment is strikingly similar to gaslighting, as both flourish in power and control. In fact, some therapists call the silent treatment a form of gaslighting, used to cause personal uncertainty, and a sense of doubt when considering goals, self-views and worldviews.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
Most psychologists indicate that it depends on the situation. When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.
If they give you the silent treatment, don't respond. Don't answer their calls or texts, don't check on them or care for them when they are sick and don't offer them any kind of support. –Walk away from the relationship.
A narcissist's silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months. Our survey among 500 people who have experienced narcissistic abuse revealed that on average, a narcissist's silent treatment lasts four-and-a-half days and usually ends when the narcissist needs more narcissistic supply.
Being left in silence can be extremely painful, as it involves the loss of connection, love, intimacy, and sometimes even family participation. It can also feel unfair and unkind, leading to anger and further fighting.
Those who have been given the silent treatment have reported experiencing a sense of loss, a sense of not belonging, diminished self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness, powerlessness and shame. When you communicate with others, remember that while words may hurt, silence is indeed deafening.
Being silent as a form of defence
People that feel unable to communicate on an emotional level can feel safe behind a wall of silence. Instead of being present and engaged through difficulties they abandon you emotionally, physically and spiritually.
No contact is you setting a boundary to regain control in your life. This is not abusive. Silent treatment from the narcissist is meant for you to “learn a lesson” and realize how wrong you were to the narcissist.
Silent Treatment – What It is and What It's Not
But here's the thing about blatantly ignoring someone: not only is it rude, immature, inconsiderate, cruel, and petty, it's downright emotionally (and sometimes physically) damaging. Ignoring someone is not an act of love. In fact, silent treatment qualifies as abuse.
The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Relationship expert Dr John Gottman termed these "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" as they spell disaster for any personal or professional relationship.
The silent treatment is meant to hurt the other person where stonewalling is flooding and self-perseverance. Sometimes it can feel like your partner is doing both so it can be hard to differentiate.
Many abuse survivors say they hated the silent treatment more than the insults or yelling. When they were shouted at, at least they knew what was on the abuser's mind, and could better assess their own and their children's safety. Stone-cold silence can reinforce feelings of vulnerability and fear.
It can cause emotional trauma.
A person who is ignored feels a wide range of confusing emotions. They may feel anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, despair, and loneliness, all at once. Naturally, such emotional confusion can have a damaging effect on your psyche.
According to a study done in 2012, the psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, social withdrawal and devoid of meaning to their lives. This, in turn, may lead to social isolation and depression that could be the starting point for long-term mental health issues.
The simple answer to the above questions is yes. When you walk away and make him miss you, it's typical for a man to come back to you. The power of silence after a breakup is highly effective in making your partner come back. To start with, going silent after a breakup is a sign of confidence and self-esteem.
3. It is much different from 'taking space' Wanting to take a break from the person who has hurt you is normal but inflicting silent treatment is not about asking for space to think. It is a deliberate infliction of pain.
Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment. If the narcissist uses the silent treatment to deflect responsibility for something they have done wrong, it can also be a form of narcissistic gaslighting.
Often, a narcissist will retaliate by ignoring you. This is a means to punish you for puncturing their delusions. They're also avoiding you because a narcissist's sense of self is too unstable to resolve conflict. They are putting you in a position to make you desperate for their approval.