Envy is one of the diagnostic criteria of narcissistic personality disorder. Many of you may have experienced envy from the narcissist in your life.
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
It's not known what causes narcissistic personality disorder. The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements.
Pathological envy happens to be related to one of the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
What causes NPD? As with many personality disorders, the exact cause of NPD is unknown. It is probably a mixture of genes, early childhood experiences and psychological factors. Early childhood risk factors include excessive praise or judgement by parents, trauma or abuse.
The development of narcissistic traits is in many cases, a consequence of neglect or excessive appraisal. In some cases, this pathological self-structure arises under childhood conditions of inadequate warmth, approval and excessive idealization, where parents do not see or accept the child as they are.
Narcissism and its Origins
Narcissism tends to emerge as a psychological defence in response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse or neglect in early life. Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood.
While grandiose narcissists are inclined to seek revenge, in romantic relationships they tend not to induce jealousy for this purpose.
Narcissists are so insecure that they constantly need praise and admiration from others. They seek it from others and sometimes, even from themselves. The reason is that they want to be superior to all and this is the only way they know how to make themselves feel better.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8. This is the time when children begin to evaluate themselves according to how they perceive others.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.
Learn About Borderline Personality Disorder
These individuals often report feeling that emotions control their lives or even that they feel things more intensely than other people. In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive.
New research suggests that people who have a high level of narcissistic traits strategically induce jealousy in their mates as a way to meet certain goals: Control, in some cases, or a boost in their self-esteem.
Results revealed that grandiose narcissists induce jealousy as means to acquire power and control, but vulnerable narcissists induce jealousy as a means to acquire power and control, exact revenge on the partner, test and strengthen the relationship, seek security, and compensate for low self-esteem.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Narcissists are fully aware that they are narcissistic and have a reputation as such. Narcissists would rather be admired than liked. Narcissists are masters at making first impressions, leading them to do better with short-term relationships.
To summarize, overparenting, lack of warmth, leniency, overvaluation and childhood maltreatment have all been associated with higher levels of narcissism. However, these parenting behaviours have often been examined in isolation or in different combinations, with mixed findings.
One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.
Many narcissists are obsessive-compulsive as well. They conduct daily "rituals", they are overly punctilious, they do things in a certain order, and adhere to numerous "laws", "principles", and "rules". They have rigid and oft-repeated opinions, uncompromising rules of conduct, unalterable views and judgments.