Cutting people off: It's not something any of us want to do, but sometimes it's necessary. Whether it's a toxic family member, a friend you know you just can't have in your life anymore, or a former romantic partner who is stopping you from moving on, eliminating toxic relationships is important for mental wellbeing.
Cutting someone off for your own good is not a bad choice. You have to think of yourself and your mental health. That is why you are choosing yourself over drama, toxic mindsets, and other problems that these people are giving you.
In general, a toxic person may cause you to experience feelings of shame, sadness, discomfort, anger, and anxiety. You may also find yourself feeling worn out after an interaction with them, which can be a sign that you are being drained of your resources and that it's time to cut this person out of your life.
Be sure to use a firm, yet respectful tone and avoid using language that could make the person feel attacked or belittled. Stick to the facts and make sure you express your point of view without being aggressive or dismissive. Avoiding blame and anger is essential when cutting someone off.
No matter who it is, if your relationship is harming your mental health, the best decision you can make is to cut them out of your life. Toxic people can make you feel consumed by a negative outlook on yourself or isolate you from people who truly are good for you.
While it's important to know your reasons for cutting someone off, you don't always need to explain those reasons fully to the other party. Sometimes overly justifying your decision will only provoke a toxic person further, or signal to them that you're not entirely secure in your choice.
For example, if the person who hurt you is a family member, friend, or coworker, it might be better to calmly confront them and let them know how their behavior affects you. Ignoring them will likely lead to festering resentments and won't solve the problem.
Cutting someone off can be a basic function of self-respect and self-valuation. Relationship expert Rachael Pace writes about this and makes a savvy point: “Letting toxic people become manipulative and use you for their own good is never a good sign.
Know How to Cut Someone Off
Settle the tab first. Be firm with refusing to pour another beverage. Speak in a calm, cool, and collected way, and be clear that you're definitely not going to give them more alcohol. Don't bargain with the patron.
So he might feel annoyed by your actions. Especially if he still has things to say. If you have cut him off without giving any explanation, he may even feel angry about that. Or maybe he is simply frustrated that you won't let him see you again when he wants to try and work things out.
Need to cut someone off without seeming like a conversational steamroller? Here's how. You shouldn't interrupt. Yes, from an early age, you're reminded that cutting people off when they're speaking is rude.
Although it might be difficult, there are times when we may need to end a relationship, whether it's romantic, professional or even with a family member. At first, it rarely feels good to cut someone out of our lives, but for the sake of our own growth and sanity, it's sometimes necessary.
Assure them that they aren't a bad person and that they have a lot going for them. Emphasize that you're busy and putting energy into other things right now. You can say something like "I've been spending so much time on my writing that I've been bad at texting back." Don't apologize too much if it feels insincere.
However, it is how you deal with conflict that can potentially be problematic. Research has uncovered four toxic behaviours that can get in the way of communication and derail collaborative relationships if left unchecked. The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling.
Toxic people love to manipulate those around them to get what they want. This means lying, bending the truth, exaggerating, or leaving out information so that you take a certain action or have a certain opinion of them. They'll do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people. They Abuse Substances.
The concept of emotional cutoff describes how people manage their unresolved emotional issues with parents, siblings, and other family members by reducing or totally cutting off emotional contact with them.
Worse still, studies have shown that the pain of being ignored is worse than being bullied. You are experiencing social pain, which you feel when you're being ignored, overlooked or rejected. The problem being social pain is very real because it shares common neural pathways to physical pain.
It can greatly deplete their self-esteem, leaving serious consequences. It can cause physical issues as well. When you are ignored, a part of your brain responsible for detecting pain will activate, telling you that you're, in fact, being physically hurt.
Ignoring is powerful because you take what they desire, away. Lowkey, this ends up turning into a form of revenge without you even trying to do so. To take it another further, invest in yourself. Know that you are better off without the snake in your life.
It's difficult to admit you're wrong. It's even harder to be compassionate to someone when you've knowingly hurt them. Cutting someone off is passive-aggressive and overly self-protective at the expense of the other person's feelings. If you make it a habit, you might never develop relationship skills.
“There can be a real grieving process when cutting off a toxic family member,” says MacMillan. “Grief that the relationship is not working, especially if it once did. Recognizing this process takes time and cutting yourself a little slack when it comes to self-judgment is key.”